Extract from Chapter 16
The worst that could happen, Xander figured, was that he and Spike would kiss and it would be horrible, but even then, it would still be a good thing. At least he’d know that whatever he was feeling was just… nerves or something.
Yeah. Nerves. And possibly some wigging about the fact that he kind of liked the way Spike held him at night. And he wasn’t gay, unless maybe he was, but only where Spike was concerned, and that wasn’t really the same thing, was it?
So. Kiss. He could do this.
“I… it’s all your idea, Spike,” he said after a moment, meeting those wide blue eyes again sheepishly, “but I… think I’m on board.” And to prove the fact, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes tightly and leaned forward, head angled just a bit.
Bloody hell! Xander was really going to… Spike blinked and let his own eyes close as those warm, red lips brushed his, and if his fingers tightened on the human’s arms, he didn’t notice because…
Oh… yeah. Strong, hot fingers in his hair. Soft breaths gusting from his bloke’s nose as those lips moved slowly, gently, taking their time to learn his, even if the body attached to them was still tense and trembling just a bit. Not that Spike’s was any calmer of course, because it wasn’t. It just didn’t show it as much.
Slow, lingering presses. Tender, searching brushes. Hot skin on cooler. And then something Spike had hoped for but hadn’t really been expecting, this first time… blunt teeth, nipping lightly at his bottom lip, and when he sighed into that intimacy, Xander’s tongue—slick, warm, and tasting his own, and…
He had no idea of exactly when he’d acquired the lapful of vampire, but he wasn’t going to complain. Not when kissing Spike was unlike kissing anyone else in his life.
Tentative became confident, curious became masterful, and when Spike wrapped tighter around him, ankles crossing at the base of his spine, Xander couldn’t help the groan that flew from him, only to find it swallowed by the swiftly warming cavern of the blonde’s mouth.
He’d never known a human could kiss like this—focused and intent and entirely committed to this one act. There was no overwhelming urge to move things along, no intimation that this was just a prelude to other things. Fuck, it was like Xander would truly be content to just hold him and kiss him forever, and somehow Spike didn’t have a problem with that.
Oh, he wanted more, granted, but… this experience, this sensation—like nothing else in the world mattered more to Xander than their lips, their tongues… meeting and twining, stroking and sliding—was like nothing else he’d ever known. Not as a vampire, and definitely not as a human.
That didn’t mean he was anything but hard, though. Hell, he was possibly harder than he’d ever been, and just from the bloke’s mouth on his… and the hands roaming slowly, purposelessly up and down his back. Then again, Xander was equally excited, if the thick length pressed lightly to his own was any indication, and he couldn’t quite keep himself from moving closer still, one hand finding and tangling in thick brown silk as he gasped.
This… this might be too much, Xander realized blearily. Spike was… God, Spike was in his lap, and those lips were… so soft and full and wonderfully cool, and just… God, he wanted that mouth, he could live in that mouth, but… and that little tug at his scalp, pulling some sort of… sounds from him, and he didn’t know what they were but he knew he’d never made them before because he’d remember it if he had…
And Spike was… rocking on him, against him, and he was hard—God, was he hard—and the friction was beyond incredible, and he’d rubbed against Anya before, rocked against Cordelia, even, but it had never felt like this, and this was good, too good, too… everything, and he couldn’t remember why it was wrong, why it was bad, because Spike was, Spike was…
Bloody hell, he was definitely keeping the boy. Might not even let him out of the apartment again. Not when he knew now… knew what those hot, full lips were capable of, knew what that strong, toned body felt like between his legs… and definitely not when he finally knew just how responsive and yearning his bloke truly was.
One hand slid from soft sable hair to cup the back of Xander’s neck and Spike dove deeper into that wet heat, his hips shifting slowly back and forth, back and forth, moaning into his boy’s mouth loudly as the shift of sweats against thin boxers pulled him closer and closer to shuddering wildly.
It was too much. Xander knew it was too much, in the scant moments when he could actually think. And yet he couldn’t even begin to stop kissing the blond, couldn’t bring himself to even slow, and when Spike’s shaft slid along his own yet again, separated by fabric or not, he couldn’t help but close his hands harder on that pale, flexing spine. He whimpered as he felt his sac draw up hard and tight, then release with a nearly painful suddenness that left him gasping into Spike’s mouth as he felt the vampire’s body tense, too.
He hadn’t planned on that; hadn’t even really considered it. Hell, he’d been more than ready to finish their bout of kissing and take care of himself in the shower, but… bloody hell, he’d felt Xander so hard against him, so ready… and when he’d smelled the scent of the boy’s explosion, felt it against him, even, he’d… “Jesus… bloody… Christ,” he gasped, finally dragging his lips from the warm ones he now planned to spend years—if not decades—worshipping, “I… that was… unexpected, luv…”