Family Bonds
by
Kimalis
37
Spike held the door open and briefly scanned the room, more to set Xander at ease than to detect anything. As always the pub contained a mix of demon and human, all coexisting well together; however as the experience with the Hokard showed, outside the pub was a different world entirely.
“Door-bitch!” The deep voice rumbled from behind the bar.
“Fuck off Thomas.” Spike flipped his finger at Tom as they walked in, but then smiled and shook his hand.
“Good to see you again, Xander.” Tom reached out one dinner plate sized hand to shake.
Xander greeted him, feeling the contained strength and relaxing as he realised how safe he actually was here with these two demons on his team. “Hi Tom, sorry it’s been a while. I meant to come by and cash you up for those deliveries.” He reached into his pocket.
“No need pal that’s been taken care of, well for the next few weeks anyway.” Tom waved a glass questioningly at Spike and Xander.
“Double Jack thanks mate,” Spike told him.
“Oh, um, just Coke for me thanks Tom.” He turned to Spike. “Did you do that? Pay for the blood?”
“I did love. Got a good payout for some extra work last week, so I invested it in my stomach. Seemed like the thing to do.” Spike hoisted himself onto a stool and motioned Xander to the next seat.
Xander shifted his stool closer to Spike’s and leaned in a little when Spike slung an arm across the back of his seat. “You know I didn’t mind taking care of it.”
“Yeah I know mate, but I minded okay?”
“Yeah I get it. Just let me know if work slacks off alright?”
“No need to worry there mate, I think this big ugly git can spot me a bag or two now and then can’t he?” Spike pointed at Tom with his glass and idly scratched at Xander’s back with his other hand.
“Oh belt up, you great twat. You want a bag, you can get off your arse and work for it.”
“Now, now Thomas. You need a bit of work done, you only have to ask.”
“Right, well I’m askin’.”
“Problems here mate?” Spike asked, sipping his drink.
“I have an idea a couple of fledges may have intercepted my last blood delivery. Was hopin’ you could sort them out. They were hangin’ around in here for a few nights lookin’ a bit dodgey but not causin’ any mischief.”
“You have any idea where they are?”
Tom shook his head. “Basically sod all mate. Thought you could use your, you know-” Tom waved his hand vaguely in the direction of Spike’s head.
“My hair dryer?” Spike snorted.
“No, smart arse. You know what I mean. Can’t you just, I don’t know, detect them or sniff them out or somethin’?”
“Course I could if you gave me a bloody starting point Thomas.”
“Nearby is all I can give you.”
Spike sighed. “Gonna take a while, but should be able to help you out.”
Xander had sat quietly and followed this exchange with increasing trepidation. “When?” he asked Spike.
Spike twisted in his seat, seeing the frown lines on Xander’s brow. “Not right away mate. When you’re ready.”
“No it’s okay, I don’t want to stop you doing stuff like this. I just wondered if you would go tonight.”
Spike slid off his stool and wrapped an arm around Xander’s shoulders. “Thomas me and my boy here are gonna go find a seat somewhere quiet. Any chance of a meal?”
Tom looked at Xander and Spike quizzically, but nodded. “Yeah course mate, I’ll let Rosie know you’re here.”
“Come on then love.”
~*~*~*~*~
Spike led Xander to a booth in the back of the pub. He motioned Xander in first, then slid in after him. He leaned in to Xander and pressed their lips together, holding him close with a hand behind his neck. Xander slid his hands under Spike’s coat and made a small satisfied noise when Spike’s tongue probed at his lips.
Xander opened his mouth to Spike and felt the cool tongue stroking over his. He could never tire of this. Spike always kissed him like it was the first time or the last time. Whether long and deep, or soft and light, there was always a myriad of unspoken words that underlaid his kisses. Xander felt himself relaxing, the edges of his worry dissipating.
Spike brushed a hand over Xander’s face then sat back. “Told you, tonight is just dinner and home. Not gonna go anywhere else unless you want to.”
“It’s okay, really Spike. I’ll be fine if you want to go.”
“Yeah I know you will. Maybe tomorrow then, okay?”
Xander nodded and picked up his drink, settling comfortably back in the booth, Spike’s hand in his lap, their fingers twisted together. They sat together quietly watching a pool game across the room. Xander’s mind drifted back and a small smile played over his lips. It would be two weeks tomorrow, since they’d first come and had a beer and a game. Two of the longest and most complex of his life and he wouldn’t switch a minute of them. Okay well, maybe one or two of the more bloody ones, and perhaps a couple of the insane Buffy ones. Oh and there was the-. Xander felt Spike squeeze his fingers and nudge his leg.
“Could have done without that bloody king hit to your ex as well,” Spike smiled at him, deciding to broach the subject of this new aspect of Xander’s consort status.
“Yeah that was-,” Xander began, then frowned. “What the hell Spike?”
“Part of the consort bond mate. Bit of an empathic touch I suppose you could say.” He carefully watched Xander’s reaction, but when Xander merely gave a resigned sigh and nodded, he continued. “You’ve not noticed anything different this week? Maybe a feeling or two that weren’t quite your own?”
Xander thought for a moment. “Well yeah, I guess I did, but it wasn’t really the best time to be dealing with anything else, so I kinda overlooked it.” He shook his head. “What was it?”
“My feelings, your feelings, the occasional thought,” he shrugged. “At the moment it’s only simple, but in time it could be, well, it could be anything mate, no way to tell how it will go.”
Xander looked confused. “But the spell isn’t affecting you. So how?”
“Consort bond is an open channel. Works both ways love.”
“There’s just so many things to deal with, and I bet there’s gonna be even more isn’t there?”
“Not too much more now, if anything at all. It’s just a matter of it all developing and you being able to control it.”
“Why are you taking all this so well? Aren’t you freaked? Even just a little?”
“I’ve been around the block a few times; seen things, done things. Its takes a bit more to, ah, freak me. Only thing about this that bothers me, is that it’s been so hard for you.”
Xander smiled at him. “I know its gonna get easier, it is getting easier. It’s all so huge though, its just going to take a bit of time.”
“No rush mate.”
They sipped at their drinks, watching the game and quietly talking and laughing as they shared the memories of their first night out.
“Now’s there’s a less disturbin’ sight. Good to see a smile on your ugly mugs.” Tom put two plates of shepherd’s pie down in front of them. “Our Rosie says she’ll be out in a few. Bit busy in there right now.”
Spike picked at the food for a while, not especially interested now that he had a regular high quality blood supply. Xander, however ate his with lightning speed then eyed Spike’s plate too.
“Help yourself love. No doubt you’ll need the energy later.” He smirked, then laughed as Xander kissed him with potato-covered lips then cleaned his plate too.
“Oh that was great,” Xander half groaned, leaning back in the seat and rubbing his hands over his full stomach. “You’re English, why aren’t you cooking me this stuff?”
“Love, I’ve been living in crypts, basements, warehouses and various other dank dark holes for soddin’ years. Never had much need to cook, most of our food was on tap so to speak. You want me to burn down your kitchen though, I’m willing to give it a shot.”
“Ah, no. I guess we become regulars here and Rose keeps me fed then. Pfft, Useless damn vampire, can’t even cook,” Xander mumbled under his breath knowing Spike would easily catch it.
“Oi! Cheeky bugger.”
“You’re just lucky I’m too full to move right now pal. If I could move those couple of inches over there I’d show you a thing or two,” Xander waved a finger at him.
Spike slid closer on the seat, slipped his hand up under Xander’s shirt and stroked it over his chest. “Show me anyway.” As was becoming the norm, their kiss became very heated very quickly, even with an overfull Xander slouched back in his seat. Spike stretched out half over him, both hands inside his shirt enjoying the warm smooth skin, while Xander’s hands found their way under the coat and down to grip Spike’s ass.
~*~*~*~*~
A sharp “Ahem” pulled them back to the here and now, and they turned to see Rose with a wide smile on her face. Looking across the pub, Xander saw Tom at the bar giving him the thumbs up and an enormous grin. He shook his head with a smile and sat himself up straighter, Spike moving off him but keeping one arm around his neck.
“You know there is a time and a place don’t you William?” Rose said with mock sternness. She slid into the booth and sat opposite them.
“Oh right, must be my fault.” He turned to Xander. “They never blame you, did you notice that love?”
“Yeah but I’ve weighed it up and I’m okay with that.” Xander said, and grinned.
“That silly Thomas must have got it all wrong. And it wouldn’t be the first time.” She looked at both of them. “He had me thinking there was something wrong. He came rushing out there and told me that you boys were upset about something.”
Xander’s smile lost a little of its lustre. “To tell you the truth Rose, it hasn’t been the greatest week.”
Between them, he and Spike managed to update Rose on all that had happened. The demons, the spell, the developing consort status. Rose listened quietly, nodding and commiserating where appropriate.
“A big week for you boys then,” she said.
“Could say that Rose,” Spike answered. “It’s not been the easiest.”
Rose reached across and took Xander’s hand. She offered him a gentle smile. “I imagine some of this isn’t sitting too well with you chooky.”
“Truth be told Rose, most of it I’m okay with. It’s just the one thing that really got to me.” He looked at Spike, who squeezed his shoulder.
“Why don’t you talk to Rose about it love. You never know. Fresh pairs of ears and all.”
Xander nodded and tried to explain how he’d been affected by the knowledge of his longevity, perhaps even immortality. Saying that word for the first time hit him hard. He’d discussed it, shouted about it and cried over it with Spike but never had he said the word. Now, he found it easier to manage than he would have thought. A week to deal with it, Spike for support and comfort and he realised the worst of it was over. Still, he felt uncomfortable, heartbroken at the potential loss of friends, but it was not as bad as it had been.
“Oh chooky of course you would be feeling like that. Anybody would. Yes, its going to be hard when it happens, but its so far away and you have William here to help you through. And you know Tom and I will do everything we can to help you.”
Xander was touched by the care this woman showed. He’d only known her for a week and already she was showing more interest and compassion than his own mother ever had. Strange how Tom and Rose felt so close and familiar so quickly. A heavy feeling settled over Xander again as the light caught the fine scales on Rose’s face when she smiled. Tom and Rose were demons. Xander was attracting demons. He gave a frustrated sigh and Spike immediately nudged him.
“I don’t need any bond to know what you’re thinking and you’re completely wrong Harris. The Joudels here are immune to magic, right Rose?”
“Well yes that’s right William.” Rose looked confused. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m sorry Rose. I just thought with you guys being demons and all, and the spell the way it is-”
“You put two and two together and came up with a great deal more than four?”
“Yeah I did,” Xander said, flushing with embarrassment.
“No problem chooky, you’re bound to wonder. But William is right, we have a little magic ourselves but magic from others? Well that’s just like water off a ducks back. So what you see is what you get with us. I hope that’s okay with you.”
Xander laughed with relief. “More than.”
“Good!” Rose gave him a bright smile. “Now back to the issue at hand. There’s no two ways about it. You will lose people you love but you’ve overlooked one of the most wonderful aspects of the whole thing.”
Xander frowned and pointed questioningly at Spike.
“No chooky, although I dare say a few lifetimes with him would be enough for anybody.” She waved off Spike’s attempt at a hurt expression. “No Xander something much more important than the fact that your friends will go before you. You will stay. When they are long gone, you will still be here.”
Xander again frowned. “Ah, yeah Rose. That’s the issue. I go on, without them.”
“What will they be leaving behind Xander? What valuable things might they themselves be losing in moving on?”
He thought. He knew she didn’t mean material possessions. So what then? He strained to think, it shouldn’t be so hard, they were closer than his own family. Oh! There it is.
Rose gave a soft smile when she all but saw the light bulb flash on for Xander. “Do you understand now?”
Spike looked from one to the other, knowing he’d missed something that might have helped Xander cope better with the problem.
“Their families,” Xander said wonderingly. “They are going to leave their families behind.”
“That’s right chooky. If they have children, grandchildren, maybe even great grandchildren, their families will go on without them. But can you imagine what a great comfort it will be for them to know that you will be there, to watch out for them, to keep the memories alive for them. And also, even before that, for your friends to know that when it is their time to go, you can be there with them to ease their way.”
Selfish again. He’d completely overlooked this in favour of indulging his own selfish feelings of loss, never thinking of what he could give to his friends.
Rose tapped Xander’s hand. “I have a feeling I’m too late, but before you go thinking you were remiss in not realising that first, then stop being silly Xander. It was a perfectly normal reaction and you’ve nothing to feel ashamed about.”
Spike gave a frustrated groan “Snap out of it mate. That guilt is oozing off you and bringing me down too; I’m not going there. You listen to Rose now. She’s not wrong.”
“I know, really I get it. It’s just one of those things you know? I wish I could think of other people first sometimes.”
“Love, you do enough of that,” Spike told him. “Your friends, they’re important, but you gotta look out for yourself too.”
Rose agreed. “It’s a big responsibility you’ll have Xander. One you might like to keep to yourself for a while if your friends haven’t worked it out already. No doubt it will be a difficult thing for them to deal with as well. And it might be best for you to wait until you are better able to cope with it yourself before attempting the explanations.”
Xander nodded his agreement. “Of course you’re right Rose. And thankyou. It might have taken me ages to get to that.”
“I’m here to help chooky. You boys are very special to Thomas and I, anything we can do for you, you just say the word.”
~*~*~*~*~
They sat for a while longer, talking about all the things that had happened during the week, the things that might happen in Xander’s future and the quickly developing relationship between Spike and Xander. Rose was delighted to discover that they were doing so well and made them promise to drop by regularly so she could keep Xander well fed, leaving them with no doubt that she had little faith in their domestic abilities.
With kisses for both of them Rose excused herself and went back to work. Xander felt considerably better, much lighter in his heart having spoken with Rose and she was right. Being here for the extended families of his friends was a huge responsibility and a gift that Xander truly appreciated. Who knew where he and Spike would be then, but Xander promised himself that whenever they needed him, he would be there.
Xander shook himself out of his daze and noticed Spike watching the pool game finishing up. “Come on Bleachie, let’s go play, give me a chance to beat you and even the score.”
Spike snorted. “Never gonna happen love. But you can try.”
~*~*~*~*~
They played for a short time, trading insults and innuendo. Without knowing exactly how, about halfway through their game, Spike and Xander found themselves with cues and balls forgotten, arms wrapped around each other, mouths crushed together.
A tap on their shoulders a short time later and they pulled apart, both panting to see Tom standing next to them with a broad smile. “Might be time to take this outside fellas. You’re getting a bit of attention I think you’d rather do without.” He jerked his head in the direction of the bar, where Bilarl sat wide-eyed and slack-jawed on the edge of his stool. “And with the vibes you’re sending, I can only hold him back for so long.”
Spike glanced over, saw the enraptured demon and tightened his hold on Xander. His eyes flashed gold and he let out a low growl. As his forehead shifted and fangs dropped, he was distracted from his threatening glare at Bilarl by the hard length suddenly pressing into his hip. He turned his yellow gaze to Xander and saw the lust in his eyes.
Xander reached up and ran a hand over Spike’s forehead, a thumb over his long teeth. He’d seen this face many times before but this time it stirred something in Xander, he felt a deep longing, an almost painful arousal. Xander eyed Spike’s lips, moving back in with the intention of running his tongue over those long, sharp fangs when he felt himself jerked away.
“Okay now, that’s not going to make this any better mate.” Tom had them both by the arms and was now standing between them. “Off we go, lets get you two outside before I have to hose you down.”
Spike shook his demon face away. “Sorry Tom, we’ll be heading home I think. My boy here mentioned something about putting out after a date.”
Xander quickly pulled out his wallet and thrust some notes into Tom’s hand. “Yeah sorry Tom, um, thanks for dinner. We really have to go. Say bye to Rose for us.” He grabbed Spike’s hand and pulled him towards the front door, groaning as a thrill ran though him when he heard Spike’s growl as they passed Bilarl at the bar.
~*~*~*~*~
Outside, Xander pushed Spike up against his car and ground himself up against Spike’s own hard bulge. “Should I find that so hot? That’s gotta be all kinds of wrong doesn’t it?”
“Not for a consort love. But as much as I would love to let my demon loose on you tonight, its not gonna happen. Not when I can’t bite you.”
“But can’t we just-”
“Love if I fuck you like that I would need to bite you. The fucking chip would probably kill me if I did that. And no, the demon cannot fuck you without biting, it would be like going for hours and never coming.”
Xander sighed in frustration. “Goddamn Initiative.” He sucked in a breath as Spike slid a hand inside the front of his jeans and massaged his aching erection.
“So was it a good date? You’re still putting out right?” Spike leered at him.
“Thought masters didn’t date?”
“If it gets me shagged mate, I’ll be in anything.”
“It’s getting you shagged.”
“Right,” Spike said and bundled Xander into the car. He all but flew home, hauled Xander up the stairs and for the next few hours held him to his promise
38
Xander woke around midday, marvelling at how no matter what position he went to sleep in, he always woke with Spike pinning him down and twisted around him. This time, Spike’s head lay on his chest, a favoured position, meaning that Spike usually woke at the same time, detecting the change in heartbeat and breathing as Xander came to consciousness.
He pulled the covers up to his neck, knowing Spike liked to be tucked under the blankets, and wrapped his arms around the warm bundle of vampire on top of him. Xander sighed in contentment. He was completely relaxed, warm, comfortable and was being delightfully crushed by the man he adored. Generally Xander loved the feel of Spike’s cool body, but waking up like this was always good too.
Spike was woken by the changes that signalled Xander was coming to and lay still waiting for what he knew came next. There. The blankets up over his head trapping in the heat and the scents of his boy. Fucking brilliant. No better place to be, well, except that one. Xander’s hands played over his back, feeling out the muscular planes, fingers drawing intricate patterns and swirls. Spike shifted his head a fraction and Xander’s nipple lay under his mouth. He lazily sucked and licked and scraped his teeth over the tiny brown nub, enjoying the small sounds and heady scents triggered by Xander’s increasing arousal.
Before too long, he felt the familiar hardness against his hip and wriggled himself down, dragging the cool tip of his tongue down the centre of Xander’s body. He dipped into his navel, swirling his tongue in and around the tiny indent. He felt a shiver run through Xander at the touch and stayed there, teasing with his tongue, one hand twisting and pulling gently at a hard nipple, the other sifting through the crisp curls below. Xander was gently lifting his hips, nudging Spike’s cheek with his erection. Spike chuckled softly and turned his head, letting his tongue flick out across the slit. He slid his lips across the tip, blowing lightly and his hand moved down to stroke at the smooth skin behind Xander’s balls. He felt Xander’s hand wind in his hair and scratch rhythmically at his scalp. Languidly he teased Xander’s cock, never taking the whole length in, just wrapping his mouth around the sensitive ridge, massaging with his lips and letting the hard suction and flicking of his tongue bring his lover to a peak. He slipped a finger into his mouth, wetting it thoroughly before reaching back and gently pressing it inside Xander, feeling the wetness still slicking his channel from last night. Spike groaned in pleasure when his mouth was immediately filled with the warm spurts as Xander came, his soft grunts muffled by the layers of blankets.
Xander lay breathing heavily, body arching and twitching as Spike licked and swallowed down his orgasm. When he felt Xander still, Spike slowly slid himself back up, laying down a trail of soft kisses. He nuzzled at Xander’s neck, before kissing along his jaw and finding the warm smiling lips waiting for him. He kissed the corners, nibbled at the moist bottom lip and laughed as his head was pulled in and Xander kissed him thoroughly then broke away to smile at him.
“Good afternoon,” Xander said in a croaky, lazy voice.
“Nobody should be awake at this hour, it’s inhuman.” Spike laid his head on Xander’s shoulder, burying his face into the warm neck.
“So are you Bleachie.”
“Mmm, splitting hairs. Still too early to be awake.”
“Poor vampire,” Xander said, stroking his hair. “Does this help?” He slid one hand down and took Spike’s erection in his fist.
“Little bit,” Spike said.
Xander began a firm stroke up and down the silken length, swiping his hand over the tip. “How ‘bout this?”
“Bit better.” Spike rolled his hips into Xander’s hand, increasing the speed.
“Alright, this then?” He bent his head down and took the skin of Spike’s neck with his teeth and bit down hard.
Spike cried out and came hard against Xander’s belly. “Fuck Xander, oh fuck.”
Xander smiled to himself as Spike jerked and bucked into him. Oh yeah, vampires and bites, it was almost too easy.
“Soddin’ cheat Harris,” Spike said when he’d calmed.
“Shut up, you liked it.”
“So? Still cheating.”
“Yeah but you love me anyway.”
Spike gave a heavy, put upon sigh. “If you say so.”
“Hey!”
“Course I love you,” Spike lifted himself up on eye level with Xander. “Always will.”
“Always? Even if you never get to bite me?”
“Even if.” Spike kissed him, letting Xander taste the promise. “If I ever get this fucking thing out though, your neck is mine. You’ll be mine.”
“All official consorty goodness,” Xander smiled.
“You okay with that?” Spike settled down beside Xander and turned him so they faced each other.
“Its going to happen whether I like it or not right? I’ll be a consort, maybe claimed, maybe not.” Spike nodded. “So I can say oh woe is me, all this is happening and I can’t stop it. Which I have done, for a while now. Or I can open my eyes and say look at this beautiful vampire, he loves me, he wants me, he’s going to be my man for longer than I can imagine. This thing that happened to me will give me that and more. I really am okay with it.”
“You better not be about to cry over that, Harris.”
Xander slapped at him. “Not gonna cry you insensitive shit, I’m done crying over this. Besides, this is happy now. It’s gonna be hard, things will come up to deal with, but it will be bearable.”
“Great, so I’m just bearable. You’re so bloody romantic love.”
Xander sighed, sat himself up and tipped Spike over, straddling his hips, holding his wrists above his head and effectively pinning him down.
“It meaning everything else in my bizarre life. You, you snarky damn vampire, are such an egotistical bastard.”
“Oi!” Spike twisted his body, knowing he should be able to easily dislodge Xander but not finding it as easy as he expected.
“Oh, settle down, it’s one of the reasons I love you.” Xander bent down to nip at his chest, not letting up the tight grip on Spike’s hands.
Spike wanted to touch the warm body in front of him and tried to pull his hands free. He knew he could with a bit of effort, but the grip was so tight, it wasn’t going to happen without hurting Xander in the process. “Fucking hell, Harris, I’d say the consort strength is kicking in too.”
“Looks like doesn’t it?” he said with a grin. “If I let go for a minute, will you stay there?”
Spike’s brow creased but he nodded, interested to see what his boy had planned.
Xander let go and snagged the tube from under the pillow. He flipped the cap and poured it liberally over Spike’s erection. He tossed the tube away and rubbed his hand over Spike, slicking his length. Catching Spike’s eye, he slid his wet hand down behind himself and slipped a finger inside.
“Oh, love.” Spike’s eyes glazed over as he watched Xander finger himself; he reached out to touch.
“Uh uh, no hands.”
With a frustrated groan, Spike folded his arms behind his head. He longed to run his hands over Xander’s body, but he also loved it when Xander took charge of things. Spike jerked his hips up trying to encourage Xander to be quicker.
Xander smiled, wetting his lips and slid another finger in, holding Spike’s gaze steady. He worked his fingers, needlessly though, because he was still wet and quite relaxed from the last few times. But this wasn’t about preparation, this was just for Spike. He thrust his hips forwards and plunged his fingers deeper, hearing Spike’s unnecessary panting breaths. He loved it when Spike breathed, it meant he was losing control and Xander was doing everything right
Xander pulled his fingers away and took hold of Spike’s cock, steadying it, hovering over the tip and rubbing it slowly up and down between his ass cheeks.
Spike strained upwards. “God Xander, just do it.”
Xander smiled, a name and the breaths. Vampire putty. He lifted himself into in a crouch. Reaching back to brace his hands on Spike’s thighs, he dropped himself down. Oh to feel this forever, Xander sighed as Spike’s hard length filled him. Again Spike reached out, this time to take Xander’s cock. He slapped the hands away, “I said no touching.”
Xander rode his lover at a frenetic pace. Spike’s freed hands clutched at the bed covers and he bucked his hips up to meet Xander until they both came with hoarse shouts, Xander’s untouched cock sending ropes of warm come across Spike’s chest as soon as he felt the cold streams shoot into him.
“Oh, mate, love it when you’re a bossy bastard.” Spike said when his breathing had again stopped.
Xander gave him a happy and fulfilled smile then fell forward to kiss him.
~*~*~*~*~
They slept another few hours, waking just before sundown in a sticky mess. Showered and changed, Xander was in the kitchen searching for food when Spike came out with his duster over his arm.
Xander straightened, noting the boots, the duster and Spike’s herculean effort at a casual demeanour. “Going somewhere?”
“I was thinking of going to do that bit of work for Tom.” Spike did his best to keep his face neutral.
Xander took a moment to consider it. There was the horrible lurching feeling of the impending separation, but there was also the need he felt to keep things normal between them, for Spike to go do his thing and for Xander to be comfortable again with just himself for company. “You’ll come straight back when you’re done?”
“Yeah mate. Straight back.” He smiled and put his arms around Xander’s waist, he nuzzled Xander’s neck. “You think after what you did this afternoon that I wouldn’t be rushing back here for the rematch?”
Xander tightened his hold around Spike’s shoulders. “I hate feeling this clingy.”
“It’ll settle down love, its just the consort bond being so new. You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah I know, I’ll just get some work done, watch American TV. Good American TV.”
“No such animal love,” Spike snorted and kissed him heartily. Xander felt the waves of love and gasped at the onslaught. “I felt that too mate,” Spike smiled.
“Wow, that’s cool.”
“Such a way with words.” Spike smirked and shook his head. He picked up his duster, took a spare axe from the closet and headed for the door. “I’m going to stop off at the crypt and pick up a few more things on the way back okay love?” He smiled back at Xander and waved as he closed the door.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander walked a few laps of the apartment before realising what he was doing. Nope no good, can’t be doing that every time Spike goes out. He located his work files and set himself up at the table, remembering to turn the light on, although he supposed it didn’t really matter, he could see either way, just felt less creepy. He spread the papers out before him and settled in to try and get most of it done before Spike returned.
Thirty minutes into his work and the ringing of his phone startled him out of a deep concentration. Xander stretched, yawned and leant back to grab at the phone on the counter. He would have to remember to turn the ring volume down, it must be hell on Spike’s ears, and he didn’t need it so loud anymore either. So many tiny adjustments to make.
“Spike?”
“Ah, no Xan, it’s Willow.”
At the first sound of Willow’s voice, Xander had braced himself, fully expecting to feel something equal to the devastation he’d dealt with during the week. But it was not as bad as he’d thought. There was an ache in his gut but only while he dwelt on it. He pushed the feelings aside to draw more on what Rose had said and felt marginally better. “Oh, sorry, don’t know why I said that. He wouldn’t be calling me anyway.”
“Why, what’s happened is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. He’s just gone out to do a job for a friend. So Will, what can I do for you?”
“Well, we hadn’t heard anything for a few days, and last night Tara and I drove past and saw your car was gone, so you know, just checkin’ in.” Willow’s voice carried her uncertainty at having called him before he’d attempted to make contact again.
Xander tried to make his voice cheerful and light to alleviate her concerns. “Oh last night we went out to eat, just needed to get out for a while. Everything’s okay Willow. Just needed a bit of time to adjust to it all.”
“Well, you sound good Xander.”
“Yep, I think I will be. Still a few issues, you know, but on the whole-.” Xander sighed, it was all a bit too close to the surface for him to be going into it with Willow and without Spike. “Will let’s not do this okay?”
“Oh sure, sure Xan.” There was a loaded pause and some whispering in the background that he couldn’t make out. “So, everyone would love to see you.”
“And?” Xander asked, feeling that there was something more.
“Well I thought that since you’d gone out last night, then maybe you’d like to come down to the Magic Box, you know, just for a visit, if um, if you wanted to.”
Could he go out without Spike? Did he want to? Xander shook himself. Course he could, didn’t so much want to, but definitely could. “Oh, geez Will. I don’t know. I’m not up to everyone asking lots of questions.”
“No questions Xan. None, promise. Just a visit, a pizza, a hug or two?” Xander shuddered at the thought of any kind of contact from anyone that wasn’t a blonde vampire. God that was awful. His best friend wanted to show him some comfort and he cringed at the thought. Must be like Spike said, the bond still settling down. He couldn’t stay at home forever and maybe a night with his friends would be good for him, help him get back into old ways. He had spent every minute with Spike these last two weeks, not that he wanted to change that in anyway, but neither did he want to neglect his friends.
Xander took a deep breath. “Alright Will. I’ll come for a short time. I want to be back when Spike gets home.”
Xander smiled at Willow’s squeak of delight and told her he would be there soon. He finished up the report he was reading over, scribbled a quick note for Spike then dressed in something more suitable than baggy sweat pants.
~*~*~*~*~
Just over half an hour later, he was opening the shop door. Willow flew across the floor and threw herself into his arms. He so wanted to want this, but it just felt awkward and wrong. He gave her a cursory squeeze, kissed her forehead then wriggled out of her grip, guiding her to the back table.
“Hi guys,” he said looking around to locate everyone. From the thuds and thumps and heavy breathing he could pick up, Buffy was in the training room. Giles was at the table, books spread in front of him, Tara as well. Anya sat opposite and offered Xander a smile.
He took a good look over her. The cuts and scrapes on her face were healing well, the bruising was still visible but now yellowing. Xander’s heart ached for her. The feelings of guilt came rushing back to him but he dared not make any comment and kept them firmly to himself. He kissed her cheek, ignoring the unpleasant feeling that urged him away. “Ahn, you look better. Are you feeling okay?”
“Fine and dandy, lucky yellow and purple are Simon’s favourite colours.”
“You’re still seeing Simon the Stockbroker?” Xander asked.
“Well yes, he likes spending money, likes spending it on me, I like him spending it on me too so we have a lot in common. Oh and he’s great in the sack.” She offered him a beaming smile.
“Okay, once I get over the too muchness of that information, I’m sure I’ll be very happy for you.” He indicated the open books around the table and took one of the empty seats. “So what are we getting researchy over tonight?” He eyed the pizza box that Tara was holding out and took a piece to be polite, not feeling especially hungry.
Giles glanced at Xander over his glasses. “I’m afraid you’ve missed the demon research, we’ve since moved on to your spell. Hopefully we can find a way to remove or alter it. Something that would allow you a normal life back again.” He stopped and smiled. “Good to see you back again Xander.”
Xander merely nodded. Wasn’t this what he had wanted? His friends to rally to his cause, rid him of this violation? So why did he feel less than enthused to hear that he was the focus of this bookfest?
Willow misinterpreted his silence and sat down next to him, sliding an arm around his waist and dropping her head to his shoulder. He suppressed the shudder and forced himself to accept her well-meaning comfort. “Don’t worry Xan, we’ll find something.”
Xander was in two minds. Remove or alter the spell, but because of Spike’s chip, he then might not have the long life as consort that he had glimpsed and now desperately wanted to share with Spike. The other choice, leave the spell in place, become an unofficial consort and grab a hold of that future, but be constantly worried about the bonding demons’ return.
Probably it would be best to just wait and see what the research turned up. Tara had already said there was likely no way to change things. Better then to be prepared for a fight if and when the demons came to finalise the bond.
“Loopholes.” Xander said to no one in particular.
“I beg your pardon?” Giles asked.
“Well couldn’t we be looking for loopholes? Something to throw back at these guys if they turn up?”
Giles laid a bookmark in the page he was reading and slowly closed the volume. “Hopefully Xander, it won’t get that far. We should be able to find something before that happens.”
“Yeah,” he said impatiently. “But if all else fails, shouldn’t we be looking to bolster the next front?”
“Perhaps you are right. If we are unable to affect the spell in any way then the next best thing would be finding a way to stop the demons being able to claim you completely or to even nullify their claim.”
Willow patted Xander’s back. “But Giles what about the biggest problem? Nothing would have changed and Xander’s still a consort.”
The training room door opened and Buffy walked out, wiping herself down with a towel. “Xander’s a what?”
39
Willow’s head snapped around at Buffy’s words. “Oh, Buffy, you’re here, out here and not in the training room, where you so recently were up until now and, well, not that it’s not good that you’re here and not there but, oh. Oh, look. Pizza!”
Buffy ignored the pizza box Willow was holding out and scanned the people seated at the table. Tara was patting Willow’s back, Giles was shaking his head and giving Willow that disappointed look that only Giles could manufacture. Anya sat expectantly, picking at a slice of pizza, eyes flicking from one person to the next waiting for the reactions.
Xander watched Buffy with a steady gaze, not prepared to say anything until he knew whether the others had shared any details with her at all. During the days this week when he had not been taking any calls, he couldn’t remember Spike ever telling him Buffy had called. Willow, yes, Tara, yes, Anya and even Giles. But no Buffy. Three conclusions he could draw from that. One, she knew and didn’t care- unlikely; two, she knew and cared but knew not to call, or three, she was completely clueless.
Buffy slung the towel around her shoulders and stood with hands on hips. “Xander welcome back and I’m really glad you’re over your concussion now, but what is she talking about?”
So clueless it was then. Xander glanced around at the others hoping someone would intervene.
“I rather think this might be yours to tell Xander.” Giles said, avoiding his eyes. “Of course we are all here to help.”
“Xander what’s yours to tell? How on earth can you be a consort? Do you even know what a consort is?”
Xander stood up and backed away from the table. “Buff you want to step back a bit? Look what happened last time okay?” Xander tried to wave her off and after some thought she reluctantly moved away. He turned to the others. “And you guys. You’re not seriously leaving all this to me?”
Giles flushed and stood. “I apologise Xander, of course not. It was our decision not to inform Buffy of the events of last Saturday, so it is also our responsibility to now explain. Buffy if you’ll take a seat please?”
Buffy ignored him. “Somebody. Explanation. Now.”
“Yes, yes of course.” Giles launched into a very brief description of the spell followed by a more detailed explanation of the outcome, leaving out one rather significant fact.
“Giles I may not have been the poster girl for slayer studies, but I read enough of your books to know you must have this wrong. Consorts aren’t just drinking buddies or, or pool pals. Xander would have to be-.” She stopped.
Xander could see the exact moment it all fell into place for her. Right then, when her lip began to curl and she did that thing with her mouth that told you she was either going to scream or vomit.
“Xander tell me you and Spike- that you’re not- you wouldn’t- he’s a- Xander?”
Xander groaned his frustration at being forced to get into this now, when he was emotionally still far from his best, missing Spike and very unsure at how she was going to react. Stick with the facts, give it to her straight, or, well, not so straight, but- “Actually, yes Buffy, Spike and I. We are. I would. And yes he is.”
And there it was, the face that made him want to smack some sense into her with a rolled up Hustler. How did someone who had done the deed with Angel manage to look so prim and proper and completely disgusted now? And this was coming to him not courtesy of a bad aura vibe, but pure best friend Buffy.
“Xander how could you do that?”
“You know Buffy it’s really pretty easy and a whole lot of fun. You just-.”
Willow cut him off. “Oh okay, I don’t think Spike would be too happy if you finished that sentence Xan, or probably he really would but we wouldn’t and later I think you’ll be really happy that I stopped you now.”
“Actually I kinda-” Anya began but was stopped by Xander’s frown. “-think that Willow is right.”
“Xander he’s a vampire. You hate vampires. Its one thing to be palling it up on a boy’s night out, but do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Buffy asked.
“Yeah I kinda do Buffy. Know exactly what I’m doing.”
“Xander it’s got to be the spell. Tara, are you sure your results were right?”
Tara looked slightly offended at this but reassured Buffy of the validity. “One hundred percent certain Buffy.”
“Giles?” Buffy turned to her watcher.
“Buffy the spell is attracting demons, it is causing Xander to acquire Spike’s strengths. It is enhancing their relationship. It is not affecting his ability to think nor Spike’s.”
“There’s a relationship now? And why is it that you all seem to know and I’ve been left out of the loop?”
Xander laughed. “Buffy are you listening to yourself? Really listening and still in all honesty asking that question?”
“But Xander, it’s-.”
“No Buff. You don’t even have the excuse of the aura effect to fall back on this time, so think carefully about anything you say now. Spike and I are together, we have been for two weeks. I know exactly what I’m doing and I do not have one single regret. Not one.”
“Xander you saw how badly things went between me and Angel. Surely you don’t want that?”
“Okay first? Spike and I are not you and Angel. Second? Um, well actually that’s it. Spike and I are not you and Angel.”
“Xander, he has no soul so he can’t really feel anything for you. And what happens if something ever goes wrong with that chip? Or he works out a way to get it out? What then Xander? You think he’ll still be all hugs and snuggles and want to shoot some pool then?”
He’ll bite me. He’ll claim me. I’ll be his. “Chip issues to be dealt with if and when. And not that it’s any of your business but he promised me that he wouldn’t hurt any of you and I believe him. And how dare you suggest that he doesn’t feel anything for me? You know nothing Buffy. How much did Angelus feel for you? It might not have been love like you had with Angel, but it was passion and obsession and they aren’t really that different.”
“We are not talking about Angelus. You aren’t trying to tell me that you believe a promise Spike made? Come on Xander even you aren’t that gullible.”
He overlooked the insult in favour of pointing out her hypocrisy. “Buffy it was just over a week ago that you were in that training room telling me that you had no problem with me and Spike. What’s changed now?”
“I said I had no problem with you having Spike for a guy friend. Not a boyfriend.”
“Difference?”
“It’s so different. You get that close to him and he can hurt you. It’s what he does Xander. He’s an opportunist. Manipulative, scheming, soulless-. ”
“Oh don’t play the soulless card Buffy; millions of souled people do heinous things every day. We all recognise that Spike is not your average vamp. I believe every word he tells me Buffy, souled or not.”
Tara’s voice came softly. “Buffy I can tell you Spike is genuine in his feelings for Xander. I’ve seen it both in his aura and the spell.”
There was quiet while Buffy sat down at the table and thought. “You’re all okay with this?” Buffy asked everyone and was met with various combinations of nods and shrugs. “I mean Xan, I don’t care that it’s a guy. Really I don’t. But it’s Spike. And you’re you. And I just have this picture of you getting so hurt. I don’t want that.”
“Buffy it isn’t going to happen.”
“But it could. So easily.”
“That’s no different for any relationship. But less likely for us because of the bond.”
“God, Xander you’ll be a consort.” Buffy’s eyes widened. “If you break this off now maybe it won’t be too late. It might reverse anything that’s already happened to you. It’s only been a short time, there can’t be many changes yet can there?”
“Christ Buffy! What is wrong with you? I do not want to leave Spike.”
“Actually Xander Buffy might have a point. Just for a short time until we can work out the spell.” Giles suggested. “If you were apart from Spike you might be able to stop the changes that would make you a consort.”
Xander stared at him, mouth open but unable to form any words. Willow got out of her seat and slid her arms around his waist, holding him close.
“That might be the only way to stop this from happening Xander. We can keep researching the spell, find a way to break it or change it, or like you said, at least stop the demons claiming you but at least you wouldn’t have to worry about the consort part.”
Buffy stood. “Right. Then the only thing left to deal with then would be the demons being attracted to you. So we take extra weapons on patrol and it’s no big deal.”
“Um, excuse me,” Anya put her hand up gingerly. “Yes big deal. My ribs say big deal.”
Xander saw the pain flicker over her face. Oh she still hurt. That was his fault.
“Those demons will eventually stop feeling the spell and we won’t have to worry.” Giles told them.
Willow was rubbing her hands over Xander’s back, presumably to comfort and support him. “See Xan? Almost sorted. You’ll be your normal Xandery self in no time. No more demons, no more spell, no more consort.”
Xander’s skin crawled and prickled. He felt nauseous and was struggling to keep himself in check. He couldn’t tell them. Shouldn’t tell them. They would not understand at all. Don’t say it Harris. God, Willow let go, please stop touching. Please. Spike, need Spike. His frantic eyes flashed around their faces. Concern there, they were all so concerned and pleased with themselves. They thought they had this all fixed. But it couldn’t be worse. No more consort bond? No way could Xander give that up now. Not a chance.
“No this is just not right.” He pushed Willow away and stepped back. “You can’t change any of it. Find a way to stop the demons. That’s all I need from you. I’m not leaving Spike. I’m not giving up the consort bond. It’s not just the sight and the hearing and the smells and the strength. I can feel him. You can’t take that from me now. Willow, please stop touching me.” He held his hands up to stop her advancing on him.
“Xander what are you saying?” Giles asked. “Do you have those characteristics now? You can feel Spike? What does that mean?”
“Xander that can’t be right, it’s too soon for that.” Willow said taking his hands.
It almost hurt. Her touch. Their words. It was too much. These were the people he had spent the week mourning the potential loss of. They meant so much to him that he was crushed at the idea of being without them and now they wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t hear him. He should never have come out without Spike. Too many people near him. People trying to stop him being with Spike. They didn’t understand, didn’t want to understand. Nothing was more important to him now than becoming Spike’s consort. Master and Consort. That was his future.
Buffy came around the table towards him. “Xander you need to leave him now before it gets worse. You can go back to him again once it’s all cleared up, but you can’t be a consort.”
Anya was struggling to get up and help Xander but was restricted by the pain of her ribs. “What’s wrong with you? Stop this.” Tara reached out to stop Anya hurting herself.
Xander backed away from them. All of them. He snatched his hands away from Willow. “I’m going, I need Spike. I can’t stay here. This is not what I want. I have to find Spike.”
“Xander no, stay and we can get this sorted out,” Willow pleaded, tears in her eyes as he again jerked away from her touch.
“Don’t Willow, it doesn’t feel right. Please don’t. Just find a way to stop the demons taking me. That’s all. You can’t change anything else. Please don’t change anything else.”
Giles approached him with his hands out to calm Xander. “Come and sit down Xander and we can talk about this. I’m not sure you’re in the best state of mind right now.”
“No! Of course I’m not. But listen to what you’re saying. Listen to me. I want this. I want this.”
“Xander it’s too soon for this. There must be something we missed with the spell. Let us try it again.” Willow’s voice was cracking, tears were falling.
Xander bellowed and she jumped. “No more spells. None. I trust Tara, she got it right. It’s you all getting it wrong now. Tara no more spells.”
Tara nodded, still trying to hold down a now tearful Anya.
Xander backed to the door. “If you find a way to stop the demons coming then send me a message. Otherwise I have nothing more to say.” He spun and yanked the door open, slamming it behind him. Don’t stop. Keep going. Find Spike.
Xander pulled his keys put and ran to his car. Get in, get it started, do it quickly before one of them comes to bring you back. Where would Spike be? Home? No, too early, too long to wait. ‘I’m going to stop off at the crypt and pick up a few more things on the way back okay love?’Crypt, yes. Wait at the crypt, Spike would come. They could go home, lock the door, stay together.
Xander’s car sped away.
Spike could feel how uncomfortable and lost Xander was when he left the apartment. If he concentrated it echoed through his head, like someone whispering ideas into his ear. He resisted the urge to turn tail and go back, to comfort him. Xander needed some time to himself. So did he. The bond needed it. Xander was right; he was extra clingy, Spike felt it in himself too. It was the newness of the bond and it would settle down eventually. He hoped. No telling though with this not being an official bond. Fucking chip. First thing he would do if it ever came out would be to bite his love. Fuck him, bite him, claim him, own him. Master and Consort, that was how this should be. He wanted that, Xander wanted that. They needed that.
The further Spike got from the apartment, the less he could feel Xander. He stopped in at the Lion, checked if Tom had any new information he could use as a starting point. None. Nearby was still the only clue he had.
Spike circled the block, reluctantly clearing thoughts of Xander from his head. Fledges. Should be easy enough. He scented the air, concentrated. Nothing there. He crossed the street and circled the next block. Scenting, listening, feeling. There. Spike smirked to himself. Easy pickings. Axe over his shoulder, he followed his nose and found the nest.
He made short work of the fledges, all apparently turned in their late teens, all trying out for badass wannabe but missing by a long shot. They’d not only stolen Thomas’s blood but had been collecting themselves quite a stash of useless things. There were crates of alcohol and a box of weapons- guns. Fledges, idiots. He kicked aside the boxes of electronic games, clothes, chunky jewellery, bandanas, CDs- no, stop for a second look at the CDs. Rubbish. Bags with empty food packets, junk food mainly; Spike stopped and looked at the last paper bag he kicked. That wasn’t chocolate wrappers falling out of there. That was cash. A quick scan of the nest uncovered several such bags, none containing a great amount but altogether not a bad haul. That would keep him in blood for a while yet, would let him buy Xander something nice, maybe pay for a bit of the rent.
He stuffed the bags into his pockets, hefted the crates of bottles and headed for the Lion. There were no labels on the crates so Spike had no way of knowing where they’d been stolen from. And Tom hadn’t lost any booze but no reason he shouldn’t benefit, compensation for the lost blood and all.
Having dropped it off, exchanged a few pleasantries, Spike felt it was well past time he was home again and decided to forego the visit to his crypt. Wait until Xander was with him and they could just load up the car and he wouldn’t have to go back again. He knew his things were safe there, not only from Tom’s wards but because Clem, the big, floppy, all round nice guy demon, had moved in a few days back. Spike had called Clem while Xander was sleeping, offered the place and made the arrangements. Clem was pleased, to say the least. Sweet place, he’d said.
On his way home Spike concentrated, knowing as he got closer that he would feel Xander and perhaps if his own libidinous thoughts were focused properly, Xander would be more than ready for him to get back. He rounded the corner to their block and felt nothing. Maybe needed to be closer. Next door, nothing. Standing on the front lawn, still nothing. Spike ran up the stairs and still felt nothing. He tried the door. Locked, silent inside. He felt around the top of the door jam where he knew Xander would leave a spare key for him. Inside was dark, but that was not an issue now. Spike did a quick circuit and confirmed he was alone. Into the kitchen and he finally noticed the note on the counter. Spike, Gone to the Magic Box, just a quick visit. Miss you, love you, Xander. Right. Into the pocket with that. Sentimental sap. Spike also pocketed the spare key and was off. Buggered if he was going to sit and wait, he’d no idea how long ago Xander had left but he was going anyway. He again shouldered his axe, scowling at it. Not his favourite, this one had too much plating on the handle, he liked a nice solid wooden handle, not your average vampires’ choice but he was not your average vampire.
Spike arrived at the Magic Box a short time later, knowing before he threw open the door that Xander was not there. He was met with startled and guilty looks all round. Spike’s stomach lurched as he took in the residual scent of Xander. Panic, anger, hurt, need.
“What the fuck have you people done to him this time?”
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