Family Bonds
by
Kimalis
16
Xander was still on an adrenaline high from the fight with the demon and the argument with Spike when he burst through the door of the Magic Box. All worries over a coming confrontation forgotten for the moment, he shouted to the room in general, “Clean up in aisle 5! We just slayed us a demon.”
“Xander?” Willow came around the table towards him. “You’ve got blood on you again.” She pointed to a spray of blood across his hand. “I’ve been trying your cell, you were going to call me today.”
“And a good evening to you too. Again, that’s not my blood, cell was in the car and sorry I didn’t call, I got busy with work stuff and other things.”
Spike was following Xander into the shop, walking a little stiffly. Xander moved to help him but Spike shook his head and made it over to his usual spot on the stairs.
“Spike you look better,” Tara said. “Everything okay now?”
“Just about,” he answered in a tone that clearly said no more information would be offered.
Xander looked around the shop. “So where is everyone else?”
“Buffy and Giles are in the training room, Anya’s down in the basement.” Willow picked up his hand and looked at the blood. “Xander, what’s happened this time? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I told you it’s not mine. We got jumped by a demon outside. It’s still in the middle of the road, unless it went poof.” He looked hopefully at Spike who shook his head. “It’s still in the middle of the road.”
“I can go out and move it, maybe into the alley or something,” Tara suggested. At Xander’s doubtful look she added, “Much the same as floating pencils, just a really, really big pencil.” At their nods she hurried outside.
“Spike what have you been doing with Xander to get him in two demon fights in one weekend?” Willow asked him.
“Right, automatically my fault then is it? Harris here not capable of getting in a fight himself you think?”
“Well no, Xander doesn’t fight, you do so I just thought-”
“Will, Spike didn’t do anything. Neither did I, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Twice apparently.”
“Three times mate.”
Xander stared at Spike with a confused expression. “There was the lady demon and the Hokard. That’s all isn’t it?”
“You’re forgetting Bilarl.”
“Oh, right. But he doesn’t count, that wasn’t a fight just a misunderstanding.” Xander brushed him off.
“Wasn’t a fight because Tom stepped in. Otherwise, who knows. Bill was smitten with you.”
Willow was trying to follow the conversation and was looking from one to the other, her head twisting like a tennis fan. “Xander what are you talking about? Who’s Tom and Bill? And what lady and what’s a Hoke-thingy?”
“Willow its just some people I met this weekend. Yes, there were a couple of demons but it was a demon bar so I was bound to cross paths with some.”
“Xander, you’ve been getting out? Meeting people? Good for you. That sounds like much more fun than being stuck in here all day retail hell making money. No, wait. It doesn’t” Anya locked the basement door, gave Xander a quick peck on his cheek then sat herself at the table.
Willow rounded on Spike, her hands on her hips. “You’ve been letting him go to a demon bar?”
Xander stopped her. “Whoa Will, hold on a minute. There is no letting. What am I? Five years old?”
Spike spoke to her slowly and clearly. “We went to a pub for a drink and a chat. He didn’t ask my permission first because he is an adult and that would just be fucking stupid.”
“But why go to a demon bar?” Willow asked.
“Cause I’m a soddin’ demon.” Spike looked at her as though she were slow. “Not going to Willy’s cause I want to walk out not blow out on a breeze. Not going to the Bronze cause that place is full of teenagers and you little Scoobies. Went to my pub, safe place with my friends. And you don’t mention that place to the slayer got it?”
“Fine I won’t, but it’s not so much with the safe if he goes home covered in blood.”
“Red, that was my blood. He was safe because it was my blood spilled not his.”
Willow had the grace to look abashed.
Xander stepped in. “Don’t suppose anyone here will let me speak for myself? I’m going to anyway. Will, tonight was just bad luck. We were only two blocks away having a pizza, a demon got the drop on us on our way back. It’s nobody’s fault, just the way of the Hellmouth.”
Giles voice came from the doorway behind them. “I tend to think Xander may be right. Demon activity has picked up again over the last few days. A pity really, we’d had such a peaceful week.” He collected his notebook from the counter and motioned them all to sit at the table.
Buffy came from the training room, a towel around her shoulders. “Vacation’s over guys. We have to go kick some serious demon butt.”
“Ooh, but Xander and Spike have already gotten in some good kickage,” Willow said.
"Yeah? Looks like something kicked Spike back a few times too.” Buffy pointed out. “Yay them.”
Xander stared at her in astonishment. “You’ve started already? You’ve been in the room what, thirty seconds?”
“Xander, it’s just Spike. No biggie.”
“Yeah it is Buffy. This is where we started out on Friday. So what’s changed? Anything? Nothing? Willow said you were sorry, sure doesn’t sound it though.”
“Xander I told Willow I was sorry for what I said about you and Anya. I’m not sorry for anything I said about him. Why should I be?”
“You just won’t give this up will you?” Xander shook his head.
“Harris, just let it go.” Spike said in a tired sounding voice.
“I say we all let it go and get on with this meeting,” Giles said. “You can go outside later and name call and nit pick all you like, but we have a review meeting to get underway. Now if you don’t mind?”
Tara came back inside at that moment and took her seat next to Willow. Xander ignored the empty seat for him at the table and went to stand next to Spike at the staircase. He also ignored the incredulous looks he was getting from Buffy. He wasn’t going to give anything away about his and Spike’s new relationship, but he craved the proximity they’d shared all weekend, needed it to ground himself and get past Buffy’s attitude. He stood apart from Spike, wishing for some small contact, knowing it would have to wait.
“Lovely. Now that everyone is back in their respective corners, shall we begin?” Giles looked around at everyone. When there were no more outbursts he continued. “Right. Demon activity. As I stated, it has been increasing slightly over the past few days. Nothing major of course or you all would have heard about it by now. Just more sightings, more species. None causing any specific trouble.”
Willow piped up. “Well if you don’t call Xander being bathed in blood twice this weekend trouble.”
Buffy’s ear pricked up at that. “He was hurt? Xander what have you been doing now?”
“No, I was not hurt, thanks to Spike. And Buffy I really don’t appreciate the way you speak to me. You’re not my mother and here we go again with the exact same thing.” Xander threw his hands up in frustration.
“Xander, what’s with you?” Buffy asked. “I can’t say anything anymore without you jumping down my throat.”
“Because you can’t say anything anymore without either attacking Spike or demeaning me.”
“Can we just get back to this meeting?” Giles asked in an exasperated tone.
“Sorry G-man, I don’t want to keep coming back to this. Let’s just get it out of the way, alright?”
“Do I have a choice?” Giles left his notes on the table and went to make a cup of tea. He knew this had been a while in coming, but needed to be dealt with. He could see the changes taking place in Xander, had told Xander so just recently. But he knew that Buffy found it difficult to adjust. She had so much to cope with, it was easiest for her when her personal life followed a set routine. Sadly though, life just wasn’t that accommodating and she needed to make allowances for the fact that her friends would not always be the dependent teenagers of her past. They, and their relationship with the slayer, would grow and change. She would welcome it eventually, but now she would fight for stasis.
“Yeah Giles, you do have a choice. You catch everyone else up. I’m sure Buffy already knows what’s what and Spike can fill me in when we get home later. Buffy let’s you and me go out back and-”
Buffy cut him off. “Hold up Xander. What’s this when we get home business? Why haven’t you kicked him out yet? Spike, what are you trying to pull now?”
“Damn it Buffy! Will you please try to focus here? I’m trying to save our friendship and you can’t get past Spike.”
“Xander, he’s taking advantage of you and you can’t see that. He’s living in your house, can’t you see anything wrong with that?”
“So I’m just supposed to say ‘Hey Spike thanks for helping me out now go bleed somewhere else’?”
“He’s not your responsibility Xander.”
Xander smiled. “Nope, you’re right there Buffy. And he’s been trying to tell me that too. He’s not my responsibility, he’s my friend. I’m doing right by a friend; that’s my responsibility.”
Spike stuck his hand out. “Cheers, Harris.”
Xander took it and felt Spike squeeze his hand. He held on for a fraction longer than he should’ve and met Spike’s smiling eyes with his own. Spike knew what he needed and without disclosing anything to his friends, had found this small way to pass on a bit of support and comfort. Xander turned back to face Buffy.
“He’s not your friend, he’s a vampire. He’s nobody’s friend.”
“So now I’m being taken advantage of and can’t tell the difference between a friend and an enemy? That about what you’re saying Buff? Is choosing my friends going to be something else you think you have to do for me now?”
“Well maybe I am if this is the kind of decision you make.” Buffy folded her arms over her chest.
“This is getting nowhere,” Xander told her. “You keep coming back to the same thing. You have no faith in me. You said you were sorry, but you didn’t mean that at all did you?”
“I’m sorry that I said you and Anya breaking up was your fault. I talked with Anya on Friday. I know it was a mutual thing and I’m sorry I blamed you. I know I was way wrong about all that.”
“Okay thanks, I accept that. But the problem is still the overall image you have of me that made you think that. You’re treating me like an idiot and I’m not prepared to take that from you anymore.”
“Well maybe if you stopped acting like an idiot then?”
Willow had been sitting quietly, growing more and more upset at this confrontation between her best friends. “Oh Buffy, no.”
Xander waved her off. “No, Willow. It’s okay. It’s out in the open now. She thinks I’m an idiot because it’s her way or no way. Right Buffy?”
“Xander you are doing some crazy things. You can’t have Spike in your home. You can’t have a vampire for a friend.”
“But you can have one for a lover and no one can touch that?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “He was souled. It was different.”
“And Spike is chipped but even if he weren’t, it’s still not your decision to make. Yes, you are my friend and yes you can say hey Xan, are you sure about this? But when I say yes Buffy I’m sure, then that’s your cue to back the hell off. We aren’t kids anymore, look around Buffy. We’re all growing up and you are the only one trying to hold me back.”
“Xander everyone feels the same way, they just aren’t prepared to say it. But I am.” Buffy looked around the room and was met with horrified faces all round.
Giles was the one to speak up. “Buffy I rather think you are gravely mistaken. You aren’t speaking for any one of us.”
She looked bemused. “What? Why wouldn’t you all be worried about this? This isn’t our old Xander.”
“No Buffy you are quite right. This is not our old Xander. He’s changed, as have you all. I think what you are having trouble with is that Xander seems to have made some significant changes in rather a short time. As I told him on Friday, I am very proud of the man he has become. Spike is by no means someone I would choose for Xander to befriend, but I do have enough respect for him to trust that he knows his own mind.”
“Thanks Giles.” Xander patted his shoulder and looked to Buffy. “This is something you need to deal with Buff. I know you’re just worried, I worry about you too, about all of you, but at the same time I recognise those worries are generally because of my own issues. You have a problem with the choices I’m making but I don’t regret any of them so you just need to come to terms with it in whatever way suits you.”
“None of you have a problem with Xander hanging out with Spike? Not even worried about Spike getting him into demon fights?” she asked them all.
“For fuck’s sake Slayer, what do you think I’m gonna do to the lad? This soddin’ chip has me leashed like a fucking puppy.”
“Spike just shut up and stay out of it.” Buffy threw over her shoulder.
“Buffy, he’s in it. It’s me hanging out with Spike that you have the issues with and you just keep throwing up the same attitude. You think I have no idea what I’m doing, you don’t trust me and you want me to do exactly as you think I should, no questions asked.” Xander was trying to stay calm but was quickly losing patience with her. He’d known Buffy for over six years and in that time she had rarely been so obtuse. “See I think I have you figured out Buffy. As long as I do as you say, act how you think I should, basically be your yes man, then all is well. As soon as I think outside the box or try to change anything, bam! Battlestations.”
“Xander that’s just not true,” she said scornfully.
“Yes it damn well is. You don’t like Spike so there’s something wrong with me, not you. You notice no one else here is too fond of him but you are the only one blaming me for that? Wake up to yourself Buffy, you need to deal with this.”
Buffy looked at all of them one by one. Her gaze lingered on Xander the longest, but she spared a hard, hate-filled stare for Spike. “You’re right Xander. I do need to deal with this. And you’re right about no one else having a problem with this, it is just me. So like you suggested, I’m gonna deal with this the way that suits me.”
Buffy’s hand moved so fast no one realised what she intended until it was too late to stop her. She had reached into her back pocket and hurled a stake full strength at Spike. The room immediately filled with shouts and yells but for Xander it was deathly quiet. He saw Buffy’s lightning-fast movement then Spike crumpling off the stairs and onto the floor. His breath caught as he waited for the cloud to appear but it never came. Instead he was assaulted by the sound of Giles yelling and Willow, Tara and Anya making some sort of noises he couldn’t take in.
Not dust. Not dust. Not dust. He was not dust, that was always the thing to remember. If he was really gone he would be dust. Xander ran towards him. Spike was on the floor doubled over, arms wrapped around his middle. There was blood seeping through his fingers and more dripping from a wound on his arm.
“Oh, Jesus Spike. Let me see, please.” He dropped to the floor, trying to pull Spike’s arms away to find where the blood was coming from. “Spike come on you’ve got to let me look.”
“It’s not too bad, mate. She only hit my arm, but I’ve done some damage to this kidney wound when I dodged.” Spike rolled back so he was sitting on the floor, pain etched across his face, blood was dripping from his fingers to a pool on the floor.
“He’ll be fine. I missed.” Buffy said, coming over to Xander and Spike.
“You back the fuck off Buffy,” he shouted, standing and putting himself between Spike and Buffy. “Giles you get her away from us. Now.”
“It’ll heal.” She pointed to Spike’s bleeding arm. “Look it’s just a scratch.”
Her blasé attitude was the final straw. Xander grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “You could have killed him, do you get that? You could have dusted him.” He had lost all sense of reason and was seconds from hitting her when Spike’s voice stopped him.
“Xander don’t do it. Rupert stop him.”
Giles had already pushed himself between them and was dragging Buffy away. Willow and Tara were heading for Spike with the first aid kit and Anya was standing frozen staring from Spike to Xander, a knowing expression on her face.
Xander made sure that Buffy was out of the way before he crouched down next to Spike. Giles had led her out the back to the training room and Xander could hear his angry voice coming through the closed door. He kneeled by Spike’s side and laid a hand on the back of his head, waving the girls away. “Can you get up? We’re going to Rose now, don’t you dare think of arguing with me.”
“You’ll have to help me mate, this is not too good.”
Xander got an arm around his waist and beckoned Tara to help at Spike’s other side and together they hauled him to his feet. Spike held a towel pressed to his side with one hand, the other held onto Xander’s shoulder. Xander gripped him around the waist and threw his keys to Tara. “Back my car up here please, it’s just a few doors down.”
Anya took Tara’s place at Spike’s side and they got him out the front door as Tara pulled the car into the kerb. Xander manoeuvred him into the front seat, pausing before he got in his own side. He rested a hand on Spike’s cheek. “You can manage the trip? It’ll only be a couple of minutes.”
“Yeah, just don’t take the scenic route.” Spike sat back and closed his eyes, leaning in to Xander’s hand, his face tight with pain.
Anya and Tara were standing on the sidewalk waiting while Xander climbed into his side of the car, waved once and took off at top speed. He was out of sight around the corner when they turned back towards the shop and Anya whispered to Tara. “Did that look like just friends to you?”
17
Xander sped through the streets, glad for the late hour and the fact that it was Sunday night. He’d just disconnected from a heads up call to Tom at the Lion having explained what happened and gotten a promise that Rose would be ready and waiting for them. As he rounded the corner he could see Tom waiting on the sidewalk in front of the pub. He pulled the car up and jumped out. By the time he got to Spike’s door, Tom had it open and was practically lifting the vampire out. Xander went to Spike’s side to help him but was more a hindrance compared to Tom’s greater strength.
“Xander you duck inside and tell our Rosie you’re here. I’ll ‘elp this one, don’t worry.”
He didn’t stop to argue but ran into the kitchen to find Rose. She was at the sink, mixing something pungent in a bowl and turned when she heard him come in.
“Oh chooky, it’s not been a good weekend has it?” She hugged him tight and he relaxed into her embrace accepting the comfort.
Xander laughed. “Actually Rose, bloodletting aside, it’s been one of the best.”
Tom pushed his way through the kitchen door with Spike in his arms, having carried him from the car when he discovered Spike could no longer stand upright. Tom laid him on the covered table and Rose got straight to work. “It’s busy tonight, I’ll be out at the bar if you need me,” he told them as he headed back out the door.
“This is just a flesh wound, it’ll be gone by tomorrow morning,” she said, wiping the blood off his arm. “Now, let’s see how this one looks.” She carefully removed the towel Spike had been holding and pulled his shirt up. “Oh my lord. William, this is worse than the first time. It hasn’t healed in the slightest and now you’ve got even more damage.”
“Yeah I can feel that, it’s well torn up, hurts like all fuck.”
“William, none of that thankyou, you mind your manners.”
“Beg pardon Rose. Can you fix this?”
She wiped at the wound with some wet cloths. “I’m going to need to look inside William. It will be extremely painful so I want to knock you out with a herbal draught first okay?”
Spike shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine, just do your thing.”
“William, I am not going to be digging around in your insides while you’re awake, no matter how manly and strong you think you are. You’ll only be out for around half an hour, three-quarters maybe, no more. You won’t be groggy when you wake up and it will give me a better chance to find what’s wrong.”
“Spike just do what Rose says please? You can’t mess around with this anymore.” Xander stopped just short of begging.
“Fine, do what you need,” he sighed.
Rose reached for a mug of warm liquid. “Drink this down, it should work very quickly.” She waited while Xander lifted Spike and held him with an arm under his shoulders, then passed Spike the cup. When he’d finished it all and laid back down, she patted his hand. “Good boy, now we can get you better.”
Spike answered her with a sleepy slur to his words. “Don’ patronise me, ‘m older’en you.”
“I wouldn’t put money on that chooky,” she laughed.
At Xander’s raised eyebrows she smiled and shrugged. “I age well. And scales don’t wrinkle.” She took a look at Spike’s eyes. “Right, he’s out. Let have a look see.”
Pulling on a pair of latex gloves, Rose began wiping the wound with large amounts of the milky fluid she’d used last time, going through many towels before she was satisfied. “Xander this might be a bit much for you. If you want to go outside with Tom that’s okay.”
“No I’m staying. Regardless of what everyone says, I still feel like this is all my fault and the least I can do is be here for him.”
“Ok, well you can make yourself useful then. You can be my nurse, just pass me any of those things as I ask for them.” She indicated a tray on the counter. “Okay, I can see there’s more damage than he started with. He’s not been taking it easy has he?”
“Well things happened, he didn’t do it on purpose. There was a demon-”
“Another one?” She looked up at him sharply.
“Yeah that makes three this weekend. Giles, umm, the Watcher, said that demon activity was picking up. I guess we just happened by it.”
Rose gave him an enigmatic look. “Hmm.” She went back to working on Spike. “I can see some tears in here in the muscle and the kidney itself is a right mess.” She slid a finger inside. “There’s some damage to the-” Rose stopped and frowned. “Well that’s not right.”
“What? What’s not right?” Xander tried to look but Rose motioned him back.
Rose bent down close to the wound and peered closely, her finger working inside, pushing further in and twisting in different directions. “There’s something in here. It could be a piece of his rib, but I don’t think so, his ribs were okay.” She felt around for a few moments then held out her other hand. “Chooky, give me those retractors could you please and the forceps?”
Xander dropped them in her hand immediately, coming closer to see what was happening. Rose was spreading the wound with one hand and inserting the forceps with the other. She fished around inside for a short time before shouting a triumphant, “Got it!” She withdrew the forceps and in their grip she held a two-inch long piece of what looked like bone. Rose took it to the sink and ran it under the tap. “Ah, not bone, no wonder the poor mite couldn’t heal.” She held it up for Xander to see. “Hokard barb. This must have broken off the tip when he was stabbed. The cavity inside it would have been full of venom and that must have been slowly leaching out into his system. That’s what’s been tearing at his kidney every time he moved too fast. William had no chance of healing with that still in there. Good lord that must have been painful.”
Xander looked at the barb in wonder at how something so small caused so much trouble. “Can you heal him now? Will he be okay?”
“Oh he’ll be just fine now chooky. You and I are going to clean him up then Thomas can give him some blood and he’ll be back on his feet in no time. This time tomorrow he’ll be his old, obnoxious, arrogant self again.” She smiled and patted Spike’s leg as she said this, and Xander recognised the fondness in her eyes.
“Thankyou Rose, really, thankyou.” Xander kissed her cheek. “Okay so what do we do now?”
“Now, we flush this wound out with that fluid, then we pack it tight with some of that herb paste. I’ve added a few extra ingredients to the paste and it’ll work even quicker. I left out the sedative this time so that should make William happy. So then we put a bandage over it and that’s it.”
“What about his kidney? I know he doesn’t need it but there won’t be any problems?” Xander asked.
“No, no problems,” she said as they worked, syringing the fluid into the wound and flushing it out thoroughly. “I think that by tomorrow the pain will be gone and in two or three days you won’t even be able to see the scar.”
Xander forced himself to keep his mind on the task. Draw up the fluid, squirt it in the wound. One day. Draw up the fluid, squirt. Two days at the outside. Draw, squirt. Spike would be healed. No more pain. Draw, squirt. What then? When would he leave? If he did go, where did they stand?
“Xander are you okay? This weekend can’t have been easy for you either.” Rose looked worriedly at him. Xander’s hands had stilled and he was staring fixedly at Spike. “Xander?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry Rose. I, uh, I was just-” he sighed. “Rose I don’t know what happens now. Spike doesn’t need my help anymore, so what does that mean?”
“Has William given you the impression that he was just using you?”
“God no! No, I never got that from him.” Not once this weekend had he truly thought Spike was using him. After all they had decided to go out for a beer before any of this other business happened. They’d talked about how this was the beginning of something, neither knew exactly what but both had said at some stage that they were willing to find out. No, there had been no feeling that it was an arrangement of mere convenience.
“Well there you go. You just wait and see what happens. Or of course, you could direct it all yourself. What is it that you want from him?”
What indeed. Simple. He wanted more. More than a few kisses on the couch. More than a couple of hours chatting about inconsequential nothings. More than two days. But was it too soon? He’d made a clean break with Anya, he’d spent an intense weekend with Spike and come out the other end in one piece. They had definitely gotten closer; he would go so far as to say they had become good friends. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, really if anyone had said a few months ago that he would be having these feelings for William the Bloody, he would have either laughed in their face or knocked them down. But he’d vowed long ago not to question the origin of his own feelings too deeply. Just accepting them was usually enough for him. Still he would be interested to know how someone like Spike came to be in this position with someone like him. Maybe that was just something to accept at face value as well. Perhaps Spike would explain it to him, perhaps not. But still, was it too soon? Considering the brushes with demons he’d had this weekend, maybe it was best not to wait. This was the Hellmouth, and things could turn on him at any time. He would hate to have left it too late.
Xander smiled at Rose. “I want everything, just as soon as he’s ready to give it to me.”
“Then let’s get him back on his feet so he can do that.” She handed Xander the bowl of liquid to dispose of and picked up the paste. “We’ll fill him up with this and that should see him right.” Rose put on a fresh pair of gloves and began packing the paste deep into Spike’s side. When she had emptied the bowl she taped a clean gauze over his skin. “Done. Now we just wait for him to wake up and that shouldn’t be too long now.”
Xander helped Rose clear away all the instruments and equipment. He rinsed he bowls and threw the towels and cloths into the trash. When the kitchen was back in order Rose drew a chair up next to Spike.
“Here you go chooky, you sit with him and I’ll go warm up some blood, he’ll be waking up any minute now.”
Xander sat on the chair at the end of the table beside Spike’s head. This was so different from the last time. Less heart wrenching vigil and more anticipatory hope. He knew Spike would be waking up and he knew that when he did wake up they had some things to sort out. Xander picked up Spike’s hand and absently stroked his fingers. They also needed to talk about what had happened tonight. Buffy had tried to stake him, there was no two ways about that. So they would have to talk about how to manage that. His best friend had tried to kill his-. His what? Boyfriend? Not yet. Love interest? Too soon for words like that. Some things didn’t need labels. His best friend had tried to murder Spike. Unforgivable? At the moment, hell yes. Xander didn’t think he would ever change his mind, but experience had taught him to never say never when it came to emotions. Hows else could he explain the fact that he was sitting here holding a vampire’s hand? Right now he wanted to hate Buffy, was trying to hate her for what she had done out of spite. He couldn’t come up with hate. Close to it, but not hate but what he felt was beyond anger.
He slid Spike’s fingers through his, noticing for the first time the blood that covered Spike’s hand. Second time this weekend Spike had spilled blood in an event related to him. Xander knew it would do no good to argue this point with Spike so he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. He was tracing his fingers over Spike’s knuckles, marvelling at the cool softness when he felt Spike’s fingers begin to move. They twitched several times then closed over Xander’s and gripped harder. Xander brought Spike’s hand to his mouth, kissing each finger and paying no heed to the blood.
“You better not be fussing like a big nancy again Harris,” Spike said in a slow, sleepy voice.
Xander continued kissing his hand. “Nope. Just waiting.”
Spike opened his eyes and turned his head towards Xander. “What are you waiting for?”
“Waiting to see what happens next.”
Spike squeezed his hand. “Me too mate.”
Xander leaned over him and settled his lips over Spike’s in a lingering kiss. He sat back and sighed. “This has been one fucked up night.”
“Yeah mate it has, but you remember what I said earlier?” When Xander looked bewildered Spike told him, “We go to the meeting, what happens happens; we go home and end the day how you want.”
Xander rested his head on Spike’s chest, feeling the cool hand come up to stroke his hair. “Spike do you think you can get up yet? I really just want to get home.”
“I feel great, much better. But tell me what happened, what did Rose do?”
“There was a piece of the demons barb stuck in your kidney. When you were fighting and then later when Buffy-. When she-. Jesus Christ, Spike she tried to kill you. She threw a stake at you.”
“Help me up mate?” Spike asked. Xander stood and Spike grabbed hold of his arms; with a bit of assistance he pulled himself upright. Definitely better. Pain was almost gone. Spike sat on the edge of the table and pulled Xander around to stand between his legs. He took Xander’s face in his hands and stared into his shining brown eyes. “She tried. She missed. I wasn’t even close to top form. I was a sitting target and she missed because I saw it coming.”
“But Spike what if she hadn’t?”
“Then we wouldn’t be here now. I would be dust. But I’m still here so forget the what ifs.”
“I can’t believe she did that. She must hate me as much as she hates you.”
“Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m a vampire, she’s the slayer, I would kill her as soon as look at her in other circumstances. But she’s your best friend, she did something stupid but she doesn’t hate you, she just can’t get past her reaction to me.”
“You’re making excuses for her after she tried to kill you? How can you do that?”
“Now don’t go thinking I’m all noble and forgiving. Far from it. And I’m not making excuses for her, I’m trying to help you. As annoying and possibly tasty as they are, those gits are your friends, you need them. I don’t want you to lose something that’s important to you no matter how much I hate it. And besides, I’ve lost count of the number of times a slayer has tried to off me. I don’t take it personal anymore, it’s their job, the buggers are all wired that way.”
“Damn you, sense making guy.” Xander dropped his head down on Spike’s shoulder. “I still don’t feel like forgiving her anytime soon.”
“Yeah, and I would be right pissed off if you did. The bitch tried to stake me.”
Xander laughed and stood up again, linking his hands behind Spike’s neck. He smiled as he let his eyes wander over Spike’s now healing body. “You’re not dust.”
“I’m not dust.” Spike smiled back at him and wrapped his arms around Xander’s chest. He tugged him in closer, their lips meeting in a kiss that began as light caresses but soon deepened to something more. Spike’s hands ran over Xander’s back and he hooked his legs around the slim hips. His tongue pressed insistently into Xander’s warm mouth, searching and tasting. It was a different kiss to all they had shared over the weekend. This one was less restrained and spoke of urgent need. Xander’s hands were tangled in his hair, pulling his head in and mashing their lips hard together. Spike dropped his hands to Xander’s hips, pulling their groins together to grind against each other. He heard the sharp intake of breath from Xander at this new contact and could feel the swelling response from both of them.
Their kiss was soon ended when Tom and Rose came back through the kitchen door. “Well, there we go, my Rosie sure can work miracles.”
“William! That is no way to recover. Xander Harris you get off that boy right now.”
Xander spun around in Spike’s arms and pulled his jacket close around his front, looking apologetically at her. “Sorry Rose. I just-. He was-. Umm, we-”
Tom laughed, a deep rumbling sound. “No need for you blokes to be sorry. I’m gonna be gettin’ mileage out of that little scene for a good long while. Right Rosie?” He slapped her behind and winked.
“Oh you are so embarrassing Thomas, do you not have any boundaries?” Rose blushed and looked away. “William, I take it you are feeling better.”
“You could say that, yeah,” Spike grinned. “Better than I’ve felt in a long time.”
“Well I am glad, but you are to avoid any, and I do mean any, strenuous activities until at least this time tomorrow. Xander has told you what we found?”
“Yeah he did. No wonder it hurt so fuck-, ah, so much to move around. When I dived out of the way of that stake it didn’t help none.”
Rose patted his head. “That’s right. And that’s why you’re taking it easy for now. You have some guts to repair.”
“And this will help you on your way mate.” Tom handed Spike a mug of warmed blood.
“Cheers Tom.” Spike downed the blood in one go and handed the mug back to Tom. “Not to be ungrateful or anything, but I really want to get gone. Thanks for everything Rosie, you are a real gem.” He slid down gently from the table and gathered Rose in a friendly hug, then turned to Tom. “And you Thomas, you are a large man. A very large man. But you’re a bloody good bloke.” Spike put his hand out to shake.
“Oh come on now little fella, let’s give our Rosie somethin’ to work with.” Tom grabbed Spike in a careful bear hug and planted a noisy wet kiss on his cheek. “That oughta last the old girl a while.”
“Thomas I think I can hear someone touching the beer taps, you best go and see to that.” Rose gave him a shove and sent him chuckling out the door. “Now William, let me clean up your arm then you can be on your way.”
Rose wiped the blood away then stood back and shrugged. “That’s already healing over,” she pointed to the gash in his arm. “Alright boys looks like you’re on your way.”
Xander hugged and thanked Rose and promised to be back again soon. Spike was impatiently hovering by the door waving Xander’s car keys. “C’mon Harris, get a move on.”
“Yeah I’m coming, you head out to the car. I just want to see Tom for a minute before we go.”
Spike was making his way to the door, still rather slow, but much better than he had been since late Friday. He was stopped by Rose’s stern voice and her raised finger pointing at him. “William Aurelius, you listen to me now and behave yourself until that is healed over. A little patience never killed anyone. Impatience however, might get you in a spot of bother with me.”
“I heard you Rose, not to worry. I have Harris fussing over me like a bloody nancy boy.”
“Yes, well mind you just keep a lid on his ‘fussing’ too.” She kissed his cheek and slapped his backside to send him on his way.
“Oi! Hands off woman.” Spike dodged her second swing with a smile and headed for the car. “Move it Harris.”
~*~*~*~*~
Xander pulled up a stool at the bar and waved Tom over. “I need to make some arrangements with you if I can.”
“Happy to help Xander, what can I do for you?”
“I was hoping I might be able to set up some regular blood deliveries to my place with whoever your supplier is.”
“Sure no problem at all, and I’ll get you a good deal too, no middle man takin’ a cut, you can just set up an account and pay here whenever you stop by.”
“That’s great Tom, thanks.” Xander handed over his credit card. “And I want to pay for the blood from Friday night and tonight and also a couple of bags to go.”
Tom waved away his card and placed two more bags on the bar. “No chance pal. Those were on the house. That fella has done a lot more than he lets on to help us out here; he’s been worth every bag and then some.”
Xander thanked Tom and gave him a wave on his way out. Spike had started the car and Xander could hear the stereo blaring through the closed doors and windows. He went around to the driver’s side and climbed in. Before he could reach for his seatbelt, Spike had dived across, flipped the lever on Xander’s seat and sent them both slamming backwards. Xander found himself with his hands full of vampire and his mouth full of tongue but wasn’t about to complain. He wrapped his arms around Spike and kissed him back with equal fervour. Xander was moaning into Spike’s mouth, running his hands over the hard muscles of Spike’s back and shoulders when a loud rap on the window broke them apart.
Rose’s muffled voice came through the window. “William if you start bleeding again I wash my hands of you.”
“Oh bloody hell.”
18
Rose waited by the car until Spike had gotten back into his own seat and Xander was upright and strapped in. She stepped back and waved them off with a smile and a shake of her head.
Xander watched her in the rear view mirror and laughed. “Didn’t know you had a mom, Bleachie.”
Spike snorted. “Not to speak ill of the dead mate, but my mum was nowhere near as intimidating as Rosie.”
“Yeah, well she did tell you no monkey business, didn’t she? Obviously she must know you pretty well.”
“But I feel so much better. Between her rules and your rule- which, by the way, you have blown to pieces on numerous occasions this weekend- I am getting bloody frustrated.”
“Aww, poor vamp. But you heard the doc, nothing strenuous until it’s healed.”
“But it doesn’t even hurt that much, surely just a little-”
“No! No little anything. Rose said no and I will not cross Rose. Tom is just too big. You’ll just have to wait.”
Spike snorted, “Then so will you mate.”
“Shit. Stupid rules.”
~*~*~*~*~
When they reached Xander’s apartment, he pulled in to the empty spot near the front door and went around to help Spike out. Spike tried to brush Xander away until it came to actually climbing out of the door. He doubled over and braced himself on the seat wincing, but trying to cover it. Unsuccessfully.
“See?” Xander said. “You need to listen to Rose, stop trying to do too much, its only one more day, Now let me help.”
Spike reluctantly took Xander’s arm and was half pulled from the car. “It’s just from sitting down, I’m a bit stiff.”
Xander smirked and cast a quick glance at Spike’s groin. “Still?”
“Oh, piss off Harris, that doesn’t help. Get me inside you git.”
Xander held the front door and let Spike go ahead of him up the stairs. He didn’t need Xander’s help, but was relying heavily on the banister for support. “You know Bleachie, is it any wonder you’re feeling like that? Rose was up to her wrists in your entrails, you had a two inch long poisonous stick pulled out of your kidney, which only an hour or so ago was slowly being sliced, diced and julienned each time you moved. Top that all off with an attempt on your life and you still try to tell me you’re up for a roll in the hay?”
“Well we wouldn’t have to roll, you could-”
“And again I say NO! I seem to recall a certain blonde vampire telling me how he was going to practise restraint. Remember him?”
“Yeah, I do, he’s a fucking idiot.”
“Yeah sometimes,” Xander agreed holding his apartment door open for Spike.
“Oi!”
Xander threw himself down on the couch and stretched out, his hand going automatically to the coffee table, patting around and coming up empty. “Oh for the love of-. Can I please have my remote back?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spike helped himself to another bag of blood from the freezer. Only two more left after this one. Spike sighed. He would have to find a way to pay Xander back for the blood. He must have been racking up a pretty hefty bill.
“Spike come on, I can not stand another of your classic British comedies. Something must be lost in translation. I need good American TV, but something mind numbingly brainless so I don’t have to think, I’m so tired, I just want to lie here and look.”
“Why don’t you go have a shower mate, I’ll find us something decent to watch then you can just flop around here and keep me warm.”
“I’m so not falling for that one again. ‘Oi Harris you great soddin’ git, come and lie here I won’t do anything, but my poor little vamp bones are so cold. Brr bloody brr’. I’m on to you pal.” Xander got off the couch and headed for the bedroom. “I’m taking a shower, but not cause you told me to. And I expect to see that remote on the coffee table when I get back mister.”
~*~*~*~*~
Spike took his mug and curled up on the couch in Xander’s warm spot, pulling a blanket over his legs. He reached under the edge and pulled out the remote, flipping through the channels. Damn colonials just didn’t recognise good funnies when they saw them. He raced through the movie channels, stopping when he heard a familiar whistled tune. Oh, bloody brilliant film this one. The Great Escape. He remembered seeing it at the cinemas in New York when it was new. He and Dru had only just arrived from Vienna and they’d dragged a couple of ushers into the back row and snacked while the movie played. Dru had wanted to hunt down and turn Steve McQueen, while Spike had admired the scrounging skills of James Garner’s Hendley. This was a good compromise, American but a classic. Spike stuffed the remote down the back of his jeans and settled back with his blood.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander was exhausted. He stood in the hot pounding spray, letting the heat ease his weary body. As far as weekends went, this one was not one of the more relaxing. Exciting yes. Relaxing, far from it. Especially tonight. He still had trouble getting his head around the fact that Buffy had tried to stake Spike. She had always threatened it but he never seriously thought she would follow through. Not unless Spike had done something truly evil, instead of just plain annoying. Xander had to admit that Spike could be annoying, hell, he guessed they all could, but they didn’t go around hurling weapons at each other just cause they were a bit ticked off. It was completely beyond his ability to comprehend. It had happened so fast no one could have stopped her. Spike said he’d seen it coming though, but Xander supposed that the vampire reflexes must have helped out on that score. He’d seen the looks of shock on everyone’s faces, remembered hearing Giles shouts directed at Buffy. He also remembered he’d promised to call Willow. He knew she and Tara would be waiting to hear and would pass on news to Giles. Probably best to get that over with. He hoped they wouldn’t be trying to offer excuses for Buffy, it was hard enough for Xander to understand how Spike could be so calm about it. Not that he could actually do anything; the chip wouldn’t let him.
Xander shut the water off and wrapped himself in a towel. He found his cell phone in his jeans pocket and went to sit on the bed and call Willow. While he waited for her to answer her cell, he switched on the electric blanket and lay back on the pillows.
“Xander how is he, is everything okay?” Willow’s voice showed her worry. He was surprised.
“Yeah it turned out there was a complication from the other night. It’s all been sorted and he’ll be back on his feet tomorrow.”
“Oh good, that’s good. Xander are you okay though?”
“I’m fine Will, I’m just so tired, it’s been a long strange weekend.
“Yeah it’s been weird alright. I’ve never seen Giles so mad at Buffy before and he doesn’t even like Spike. He didn’t let her out of the training room for ages.”
“Will I don’t want to talk about her right now. I’m just so angry, no, more than angry. She wanted Spike dead. She knew we were friends and she tried to kill him for that. I just can’t deal with that tonight.”
“Xander you’ll have to deal eventually.”
Out in the living room, Spike was distracted from the movie by Xander’s muffled voice coming from the bedroom. From the rhythm, Spike could tell he was on the phone. Never one for minding his own business, he fished the remote out and turned the noisy television off, dropping the box on the floor. He could clearly hear Xander, but the voice on the other end was too soft to pick up on.
“Willow I’ve just had enough now, this weekend has been so long and, you know, when you’re faced with something like that it kind of makes you wonder why you bother. Why put the effort into making it work?”
“Xander she’s your best friend, you can’t just ignore her, no matter what she did. I think she knows she went too far. Giles was so-”
“I don’t want to talk about him either. I really like him you know, but he let it go too far. It’s just too much to think about right now Will.”
“So you have Spike there still?”
“Yeah he’s still here.”
“How much longer is he staying?”
“I don’t know how long till he goes.”
“You going back to work tomorrow?”
“Yeah and I’m kind of looking forward to it, just to get back into routine again.”
“That’ll probably be good for you. Well tell Spike we’re glad she missed. Will you call me when you’re ready to talk about it?”
“Sure Will, just let me get settled back in again. Talk to you later.”
“Bye Xander, take care.”
Xander put his cell down on the night stand and grabbed a pair of sweats. He would like to have been able to talk to Willow about Spike, but it was probably best to wait until he was sure what was going on there anyway. Truth was he had no idea how long Spike was staying. He wasn’t even sure how he felt about Spike leaving. The thought didn’t leave him in a good place though. He was looking forward to work tomorrow; it would bring back a little balance. But it would definitely feel weird not having Spike around during the day.
~*~*~*~*~
Spike lay back on the couch. So Harris had had enough of him. Thought he’d gone too far and was looking forward to him leaving. It wasn’t what he’d expected, not after how the boy had been responding and initiating some moves of his own. But he could take a hint. He’d be gone before Xander got up in the morning. Avoid any questions; save the lad having to ask him to go. He heard Xander coming out of the bedroom and quickly pulled the blanket over himself, feigning sleep.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander could have sworn he’d heard the TV a short time ago, but when he got out to the living room Spike was asleep and the TV was off. Xander considered waking Spike and letting him take the bed but what with the minor procedure from Rose and the attack from Buffy, maybe it was best just to leave him there. The couch was a decent bed, pretty comfortable, Spike had pillows and blankets and his injuries were much better now. Nah, just let him be. It was late and he had an early start in the morning, so Xander checked the drapes, switched off the lights and headed off for bed.
~*~*~*~*~
Spike heard Xander shuffling around for a short time before he finally went to bed. He lay there on the couch in the dark, staring at the ceiling. He must have done something to make the boy change his mind. Maybe Xander blamed him for the demon attacks, a bit of a stretch though; the demons were all after Xander. The possibility of the money issue crossed his mind. Spike had been through a huge amount of blood this weekend while he healed. Maybe the lad had decided the expense was just too much. Again, unlikely, it was his idea in the first place, and he’d insisted on buying more.
What else had he heard Harris tell the witch? It was too much effort, he wanted his routine back, Spike had gone too far. He hadn’t thought it was a big effort. They had seemed to fall into a friendship with surprising ease. Conversation had been simple and not awkward; they always found something to talk about. And routine? Well who could second guess humans. Spike well knew they had their little quirks and if he really thought about it, Harris had been a bit of a stickler for routine. Perhaps having Spike in the house for the weekend just made him realise how much of a disruption it would be.
The thing that really ate at him was Xander saying he thought Spike had let things go too far. Too far? Bloody hell, they’d kissed a few times, barely even a grope and Harris has instigated things just as often if not more than Spike had. Maybe he was expecting Spike to be the strong one and make him stop. Like hell that would ever happen though. If someone looking like the boy did, tasting like Spike knew he tasted threw himself at you, it would take a stronger man than him to resist.
It could be any all or none of those things. Spike was at a loss. It was clear though that it was time to leave. He had a strange feeling about that. It had only been two days but he’d enjoyed the company. Certainly enjoyed the occasional contact too. In fact he’d been counting on more of that tonight and a lot more tomorrow as soon as he’d healed.And it had appeared that Xander was looking forward to that as well. Wait. That was more likely it. He’d changed his mind somewhere between the Lion and home. The boy was scared. He’d suddenly realised what was likely to happen between them tomorrow and he’d gotten cold feet. Changed his mind about getting into something with a vampire. That sat better with Spike. He was still disappointed but that kind of reaction was more the Harris he knew. Maybe the new man wasn’t as well formed as Spike had thought.
So when to go. Definitely before Harris got up again, and before the sun. Best then just to wait till he could hear the boy in a deep sleep then collect his gear and be off. He should be able to manage the walk; he was feeling one hundred percent on yesterday. Taking out that barb had done the trick, well that and the boosted meds Rose had given him. Just a couple of hours then, to be sure he wouldn’t wake Harris on his way out. Spike waited.
He gave it two hours. Two hours in which he lay and thought, pondered, reflected. Certainly didn’t consider any poncey brooding no matter how he felt about having to leave. When he heard Xander’s deep slow breathing uninterrupted by any bouts of wakefulness, he threw back the covers and made his way to the bedroom.
His bag was in the corner, most of his things were already in it. He just needed to collect a shirt from the bathroom then get his duster from the chair in the bedroom. His duster. That would be in a right state. Covered in blood, torn; having sat like that for a couple of days it would be almost unsalvageable. Time to see a man about a coat. There was a guy Spike knew, a demon guy who could work wonders with leathers. He’d drop it off tomorrow. So, bag was packed there was nothing else for it but to go. Back in the living room, he put the remote on the table then let himself out without a backwards glance.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander woke with his alarm just before the sun came up. He slammed his hand on the button to silence it before it could wake Spike. Back to work. No matter how much he looked forward to going, when it actually came time for it he always wished for one more day. Today was no different. He wanted to stay home with Spike just one more day; especially this day. When Spike would be healed and maybe they could get past a few kisses and move things along a bit. Those thoughts were doing nothing to help Xander get up, well, to get out of bed anyway. The thought of what they might have been up to today had given extra life to his morning erection. He sighed. Get in the shower, stop thinking about naked vampire, get to work, come home and maybe do the naked vampire. If he was well enough.
Xander hurried through his ablutions, dressed in the new clothes he had bought for work –dark pants, dark coloured shirt- tidied up his hair then headed out to the kitchen for coffee. Surely Spike would wake up when he went out there, after all vampire hours dictated that this was late evening for him. In the living room, Xander gave the windows a quick glance- best to be sure- then looked over the back of the couch to see if Spike was awake.
The couch was empty. The blanket was tossed over the arm and there was no sleeping vampire. On either couch.
“Spike?” Xander wandered in to the kitchen. Empty. A check of the spare room brought the same result, as did another circuit of the bedroom and bathroom. He was alone. Spike had gone.
He went back out to look for the note that he assumed Spike must have left. Nothing. The notepad was sitting next to the phone, as was the pencil. Blank. Xander went back to the bedroom when a niggling thought hit him. Spike’s things were all gone. Bag and clothes, duster too.
Xander’s heart leapt into his throat. He’d left. That was what he’d been dreading all weekend. He’d been right. Spike was only here for the blood and the comfortable bed. That made sense. How could he have thought that Spike would be interested in him anyway? Who was he? Twenty-one, not much experience to speak of, nothing to look at, no exciting supernatural powers. Just a guy. Stupid to have believed Spike thought otherwise. A master vampire and an average Joe. A most unlikely combination.
Despite telling himself that he’d known all along, Xander still felt empty. Spike had truly played along with him, made him feel like there was something there for them. He guessed that’s why Buffy was warning him off. Everyone knew Spike was evil, he was chipped but this was the way he could get at a human. Lead them on, tear them down. Manipulate just for kicks. If he’d listened to his friend then this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t be left feeling like this.
Xander stood in the middle of the apartment. Never had it felt so empty. Not even after Anya left. No. He couldn’t stay here right now. It was too empty. He snatched up his coat and keys and after opening all the drapes, yanked the front door open, slammed it behind him and went to work.
Perhaps if he threw himself into it he could dull these feelings and ride out the disappointment. God knows after a week away he wouldn’t be short of work to drown in.
Xander threw the car in gear and sped off to lose himself in routine.
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