Chapters <<<< 3 4

Unexpected

by
Fangrrl

Part Three

Xander takes a long shower, and feels a little better. He's still camped out on the couch when Spike comes back. His shoulders are slumped and his face looks tired. Xander sits up, looking him up and down.

"Well, she let you live."

Spike cocks an eyebrow at that.

"Okay, you're not any deader than you were before you left." Xander tries to smile, and feels the ice in his chest crack a little when Spike smiles back at him. It's a small thing, but it's something.

Spike flops down next to him, and Xander should move over and give him some room, but he's desperate for contact and Spike's thigh pressing into his sends a jolt of warmth through his body. He wants to hug him tight, kiss him again. He doesn't, though. He waits.

"How did it go?" Xander asks.

Spike closes his eyes and sighs.

"That good, huh?"

"She's angry. And hurt. But she'll deal. She has bigger things to worry about right now. Things are a bit crazy over there. Was glad to get the hell out." Spike glances over at him and Xander knows he's grateful that he asked him to come back. Xander feels a little bubble of happiness at that.

"I'm glad you came back," Xander says softly.

"Me too." Spike is looking right at him and those two words send Xander over the edge and he wraps Spike up in his arms and squeezes him tightly. When they break apart Xander almost feels normal again, like the last few hours never happened. He stands up and holds his hand out to Spike, pulling him to his feet.

"I don't know about you, but I want to go to bed. This has been the longest day of my life."

"You sure, Xander? Maybe we shouldn't. We can just..." Spike trails off.

"What? Be friends? I think we’re little past the friends stage here, Spike. I know we never really got along, and a lot of that was my fault. I couldn't see past the whole vampire thing. Shades of Angel, you know? But I want to be friends with you now, Spike. More than friends. I want to be with you." Xander is still holding Spike's hand, so he pulls him closer. "I choose you, remember?"

He's not sure why, but his words have a profound effect on Spike. Spike closes his eyes and shivers, then pulls Xander to him roughly, squeezing him tightly in his arms.

"I'm yours," he whispers.

Xander squeezes Spike even tighter. It would be uncomfortable for a human, surely, but Spike doesn't seem to mind.

They eventually make it to the bedroom. Xander flicks the light off and strips down quickly. The soft scratch of the clean sheets is comforting, and when Spike settles in beside him, he feels even better. It's only been one day, and already this feels right. Like Spike belongs in bed with him. It's confusing, but Xander feels too good to care right now. Spike came back. He went to Buffy, but he came back.

"She wants to talk to you, you know. You're going to have to talk to her. She's still pretty upset."

Xander sighs. He knows Spike is right. He'll have to make things right, if he can. Who knows how long they have left together, before the world ends for real this time. He thinks it's odd that he's more worried about talking to Buffy than he is about the apocalypse. Then again, it's not exactly his first apocalypse. This would be the very first time he's been caught sleeping with one of Buffy's ex-boyfriends, so maybe he's entitled to feel this way.

Xander is worrying over these thoughts, and idly thinking about Riley, when Spike licks his neck. And zing, there go all the serious thoughts. Spike's touch sends a thrill of goosebumps over his body and oh yeah. Naked Spike in his bed. Gotta do something about that.

He feels braver than the night before, and more secure with his feelings, so he takes a chance and rolls on top of Spike. And oh god, why hasn't he done this before? Spike's naked and so is he, and the press of their skin makes them both groan. Xander opens his eyes and they grin at each other.

"God, Spike, you feel so good. Wanna do more than kiss you, tonight."

Xander kisses his way down Spike's neck and chest until he finds a nipple and licks it. His own nipples aren't very sensitive, but Spike arches his back and groans when he bites down gently. He could stay here all night, licking his chest and making Spike moan like that. But there are other things he wants to try.

He moves his hand down and curls his fingers around Spike's cock. It's hard and his touch makes Spike's hips jerk up and he's biting his lip, watching Xander through slitted eyes. Xander moves his hand slowly, up and down, squeezing the head. Spike likes that, he's thrusting up into his palm and the feel of all that hard cock in his hand is making Xander crazy. He slides his other hand into Spike's hair and turns his head towards him for a kiss. He pulls back just a little and teases Spike's mouth with the tip of his tongue, barely sliding it in and back out, making Spike work for it.

Spike keeps trying to deepen the kiss, but Xander won't let him. He moves his hand faster now on Spike's cock, squeezing it harder. Spike is groaning with frustration and his hips never stop moving and when Xander slides his tongue in his mouth he comes, shooting all over Xander's hand and his own stomach. Xander stops moving his hand but doesn't let go. He loves the feeling of Spike's cock throbbing and twitching against his palm. Spike is panting, chest heaving and god, that's the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He did that to Spike. Made him a panting, sweaty mess.

"Mmmmm, Xander." Spike hitches his hips up slightly, rubbing his softening cock against his palm. "So good. Wanna make you come, Xander." Spike opens his eyes. "Wanna suck you." He licks his lips and Xander shivers.

"Oh god, yes. Please."

Spike rolls him over and grins wickedly. "You're gonna love this."

Xander considers telling him that this isn't his first blow job, but he thinks that might spoil the moment. Spike licks and nibbles his way down Xander's body and Xander is so hard he hurts by the time Spike's tongue finally touches his dick. Spike swirls his tongue around and sucks the head into his mouth. Xander is moaning for more but Spike stubbornly stays where he is, just slurping on the head of his cock. Finally, Spike slides down, sucking Xander’s cock further into his mouth, and it takes every ounce of self-control Xander has to keep himself still. Spike gets about halfway down and that's about as far as anyone has ever been able to take him in. But Spike doesn't stop. He keeps going until Xander touches the back of his throat and oh god, he slips in. Spike chokes and swallows, his throat flexing around the head of Xander's cock. Xander can't help the loud moan he makes as he feels his cock slide all the way in, until Spike's nose is buried in his pubic hair and he can feel tight lips around the base of his cock for the very first time. And then Spike starts moving. Sliding his mouth up and down the entire length of his cock and oh shit, don't stop, god, please don't stop...

Xander comes so hard he thinks he's going to black out, eyes scrunched shut and hands grasping the sheets. He comes deep in Spike's throat and feels Spike pull back enough that some of it lands in his mouth. Spike lets his cock slip out and Xander looks up just in time to see Spike swallow and lick his lips like he's tasting chocolate instead of a load of come. God.

Spike slumps down next to him, nuzzling his face into his neck, which, surprise, seems to be his favorite spot. Xander pulls him close and passes out.

~*~*~*~*~

Xander wakes up gradually, stretching and feeling better than he has in months. Spike is snuggled up close, arms and legs wrapped around Xander. He doesn't want to get up. But eventually nature calls, and he untangles himself from Spike and gets out of bed.

He should really go talk to Buffy today. The thought of seeing her again and having to talk about this thing with Spike makes him anxious. He wishes he could put it off, but he knows the end is nigh and they need to talk soon. And Spike needs to get back to helping the girls train. The end of the world stops for no one, not even for two guys in love.

And wait, did he just think the L-word? Xander shakes his head and decides to think about that tomorrow, apocalypse notwithstanding. He takes a shower, and dresses quietly, trying not to wake Spike, who looks like he's going to sleep a while longer.

They've slept really late again, and the sun is high in the sky when he leaves for Buffy's house. His nervousness increases the closer he gets to Revello Drive. But he's going to be a man about this. They're just going to talk, and he'll have to take his lumps. He's not sure he's done anything really wrong, here. Buffy and Spike weren't together anymore, and he destroyed things with Anya months ago. He still feels guilty, though. Buffy was so hurt.

He sits in the driveway for a minute, gathering his courage. He sees Dawn looking out the window, so he knows the entire house is aware that he's here. He considers that for a moment. A house full of teenage girls, who no doubt have heard the entire story by now. He rests his head on the steering wheel for a moment.

Well, no sense putting it off any longer. He goes to the door and knocks, and Dawn lets him in.

"Hey, Dawnie." He smiles at her and she gives him a squinty look and the smallest smile in the history of smiles. Fuck. He's in the doghouse, no doubt about it now.

Willow comes out of the kitchen carrying a yellow coffee cup and her eyes light up when she sees Xander, just like always. Then she scrunches her face up in her fake frown, and he knows she's going to chew him out, but she's not really mad. He relaxes a little.

"Xander. You are in so much trouble. Buffy is spitting nails, she's so mad, and why didn't you tell me you were gay, and why would you sleep with Spike of all people, you hate Spike and he's a vampire and you made Dawnie cry and why didn't you talk to me?"

Xander looks at Dawn and her eyes are wide. "Willow! I so did not cry! She's totally exaggerating." Dawn flees the scene, and runs upstairs.

Xander hangs his head and takes a deep breath. He gives Willow his saddest puppy dog eyes and she melts, just like he knew she would. "I'm sorry Willow. I should have told you. And I didn't mean for any of this to happen. This thing with Spike, it just...happened. And Buffy shouldn't have found out that way. This is a huge mess, I know. I want to make it right, though. If I can. I need to talk to Buffy. Where is she?"

"She's out back running drills with the girls. But Xander, wait. I want to talk to you. I mean, Spike? Really?"

"Yeah. Really. He's different now, Willow. I don't know if I can explain it, but he needs me, and I need him. We..." He takes a deep breath and thinks about how he feels when he's with Spike. He looks back at Willow and she must see something in his expression because she's grinning, and has her "awwww" face on.

"You really like him. Oh, Xander." Her voice is soft and understanding. She hugs him tight around the waist and the smell of her hair is so familiar and comforting, he just breathes her in for a moment.

She lets him go and says, "Go talk to Buffy. She'll understand. She loves you, Xander. And so do I." She smiles and shoos him out the door.

He goes out the kitchen door to the back yard, and Buffy is sitting on the porch watching the girls practice. She looks up when the door opens, and doesn't look surprised to see him. She must have heard him come in. He sits down next to her on the step.

"Hey."

"Hey, Xander."

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have found out that way. I never wanted to hurt you like that. I thought you guys were over, for good, or I never would have..."

"I know, Xander. I'm sorry too. I really overreacted. I just never in a million years thought I'd find you and Spike..." her voice breaks when she says Spike's name, and her chin quivers. Oh god, please don't cry Buffy, or I'm going to cry, too.

"Buffy, please. Don't. I'm sorry, okay. Don't cry." Buffy pulls herself together and looks Xander in the eye.

"Are you in love with him?"

"We've been together for exactly 48 hours, Buffy. I don't know. But I feel something. I want to be with him."

"God, Xander. All this time he's followed me around, and I pushed him away over and over again, and now he's moved on and I...I'm so selfish. I miss him." She laughs at that, but it's not a happy laugh.

"Do you want me to stop seeing him? Is that what you're saying?" If she is, he doesn't know what he's going to do. Just the thought is tearing him up inside.

Buffy takes a deep breath. "No, Xander. I'm not asking you to do that. I'm just telling you how I feel. And how I feel is not your fault, it's mine. I didn't love him. I used him, and hurt him, and pushed him away until he snapped, and yeah, he hurt me back, but I'm not blameless here. I know that now. And he's changed. He's become this whole new and improved Spike."

"Yeah, I know." Xander is looking at his shoes and smiling, thinking about Spike. His soft smile and the way he clings to Xander.

"We talked the other night, you know. And he cares about you, Xander. I can tell. And you care about him, don't you? I can see it in your face." She's smiling for real, now. He smiles back.

"Yeah, I do. It's crazy, I know. But I do. I never expected this, but I want to try and make it work. And I want to make sure that you and I are okay. Because this is tearing me apart, thinking I might have to choose."

"I'm not going to make you choose. I still love you, Xander. I'm hurting, but I'll get over it. We're good." She pats him on the leg and stands up. The sun is shining brightly behind her, a halo of light behind her blonde hair. She's so beautiful it hurts to look at her.

"Thanks, Buff." Xander stands up and hugs her tightly.

"I need you guys over here, though. Think you can pull yourself away from your new boyfriend long enough to stop the world from ending?"

Boyfriend. Heh. He has a boyfriend, now. Why isn't he running around screaming? Instead the thought just makes him happy. Weird.

"Yeah, sure. We'll be over tonight."

"Great! Oh, and bring weapons!"

"Got it!" Xander calls out over his shoulder as he goes back inside.

~*~*~*~*~

When Xander gets back to his apartment, the sun is setting. Spike is awake and sitting on the couch with just his jeans on, smoking a cigarette and drinking blood out of a coffee mug. His hair is sticking up all over and his eyes are sleepy. He looks grumpy, and Xander can't help but find it completely adorable. Spike's eyes flick over at him, but he doesn't speak, and he goes right back to watching TV. Xander can't stop looking at him. He stretches out on the orange chair, which is still angled towards the couch, and not the TV. And just watches Spike watch TV. He knows he's probably being annoying. Sitting here ogling his boyfriend. Heh. Boyfriend.

Spike is trying really hard to ignore him, sneering at the TV and alternately smoking and slurping from his mug. Every once in a while, his eyes will dart over to Xander, giving him a dirty look, then ignoring him again. Xander waits until Spike puts out his cigarette and jumps him. He straddles Spike's lap, making Spike laugh and grab at his hips to keep him from sliding off, shaking his head at Xander's eagerness.

"You git. Almost made me spill my blood."

Xander doesn't answer. Just sticks his tongue in Spike's mouth and kisses him hello.

"Guess your talk with Buffy went well?" Spike asks, as Xander pulls his shirt off.

"No time for talking. She wants us over there tonight. Naked now." Spike finally gets with the program and stands them up. They only make it as far as the orange chair, kissing and pulling each other's clothes off, and when Xander's bare ass hits the cold vinyl he squeaks.

"Bloody cold and uncomfortable chair, isn't it? You should be ashamed of yourself, making me sleep on it in your moldy basement."

"Oh get off it, Spike. I sleep on it all the time. It's not that bad. Just kinda cold if you're naked, and I never made you sleep on it naked."

"No, just tied me up. Wouldn't let me get comfortable. Should try it. Tie you up, see how you like it." Spike's hands circle Xander's wrists and hold his arms tightly to his sides. Xander struggles a little, just to see if Spike will let him go. He doesn't and his eyes are lit up and dangerous looking. Xander pulls a bit harder, and Spike holds him fast. Xander feels a little shiver of delicious fear, and oh god, it's turning him on. He's getting harder with each little jerk and twist of his hands. And the look on Spike's face is hot and maybe a little scary but so fucking hot.

"Come on, Spike. Let's go in the bedroom." Xander tries the puppy dog eyes on Spike.

"No."

Xander gets even harder at that if possible, and he's squirming now. Spike's hands are like bands of steel, keeping him right where he wants him. Spike moves around until he's kneeling on the floor next to Xander and he's eye level with his cock. He just looks at it for a long time. It makes Xander blush and squirm to have Spike looking at him like that. Then Spike's eyes close and he leans in to nuzzle between Xander's legs. Xander moans and spreads his thighs further. Spike's holds Xander's wrists tightly and licks all over his cock, the flat of his tongue lapping up and down his shaft. He's rock hard and leaking all over the place and god it would be embarrassing if it weren't so hot. When Spike's mouth swallows him down Xander is so turned on he can't hold back and he comes, groaning loudly.

And oh god, he's really embarrassed now. He wants to cover his face with his hands, but Spike's still holding him down. He bites his lip and closes his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. God. I couldn't stop." He can't even look at Spike.

Spike's chuckle is warm and he opens his eyes and Spike isn't smirking at him. His eyes are soft and his hair is still mussed from sleep and he's the cutest thing Xander's ever seen. Not that he'd ever say that out loud.

"It's okay, Xander. More than okay. Was good, yeah?" Spike's wicked tongue paints a stripe of wet heat across Xander's belly and he squirms. "And you're young." Lick. "How long will it take you to get hard again?" Xander groans loudly at that and feels his dick twitch. Xander squirms and tries to get his hands free to push Spike away, but Spike won't let him. Keeps his hands right where they are and licks Xander all over his belly and balls, light brushes of his tongue that spark over his skin. Spike takes his time, working him up slowly, getting him hard again faster than Xander thought possible.

He's a moaning, sweaty mess when Spike finally, finally sucks him again, sliding his mouth down his cock so slowly Xander would beg if he could get enough air in his lungs to speak. He sucks Xander slowly, making it last. Swirling his tongue around, and swallowing around the thick head when he's deep in Spike's throat. Xander's flushed and red all over and his hips never stop moving and when he comes he comes for a long, long time and he thinks he blacked out there for a minute.

When he's coherent enough to open his eyes again, he sees Spike climbing over him and straddling his legs. His hands clutch Spike's thighs, wanting to touch after being denied for so long. Spike is hard, his cock flushed pink and curving towards his belly. He rubs it against Xander and he's so sensitive now every brush of Spike's skin against his makes him gasp. Spike rubs his cock over Xander's, brushing against his balls. They both are watching Spike's movements intently. Spike's fingers wrap around his cock and they both moan. Spike jacks himself slowly, rubbing the wet head of his cock against Xander, leaving slick trails on his belly. Xander can't take his eyes off Spike's cock rubbing against him, the way Spike's hips and stomach move, his long fingers squeezing and moving over his cock. Xander's fingers tighten on his hips, clutch at Spike's ass and squeeze and Spike rubs harder against Xander's skin, his fingers moving faster, and he comes with a shout, spurting in long threads all over Xander's cock and belly. His movements slow but he keeps moving, cock slithering around in the mess on Xander's stomach.

Spike slumps over Xander and they stretch out as best they can on the small space. Spike's mouth goes right to Xander's neck and Xander has to grin at that.

"So. Ready to go see Buffy, train the baby slayers?" When the only response Xander gets is a groan, he jostles Spike a bit. Grabs his ass again.

"Don't wanna move."

"Come on, Spike. You wouldn't want to miss my big coming out party. All the girls will be there. Ready to meet my new demon boyfriend. Complete with jokes about Willow turning me gay after all, and Giles will get embarrassed and clean his glasses a lot. Why would you want to miss out on that?"

Spike growls, low and threatening.

Xander just laughs at him.

~*~*~*~*~

When Xander and Spike finally make it back over to Buffy's, they walk right into chaos. Girls are yelling and arguing, and Anya and Willow are facing off in the living room.

"I'm telling you, I didn't do anything! So I can't undo it, Anya! I can't undo something I didn't do. It's not a spell, he's just..."

Xander realizes with shock that they are fighting over him.

"Xander! Willow is insane. She keeps saying that you're with Spike now. Make her stop."

"I can't do that, Anya. She's right. Spike and I are..." Xander looks at Spike who refuses to help in any way, and just bats his eyes at Xander. Infuriating vampire.

"Well, I don't know what we are, but we are a 'we'. Me and Spike. Spike and me." Xander stops talking before he digs himself in any deeper.

Anya mulls this over, looking between Xander and Spike suspiciously.

"Look, no one did any magic. I didn't just wake up gay and jump on Spike." Xander thinks about that for a second. "Um. Well, okay, maybe I did, but the point is it wasn't magic." Xander considers his words for a moment and looks at Willow. "It wasn't, was it?"

"Hey!" Spike looks offended.

"No! I didn't do any spells!"

"But he can't be gay! Make him not be gay! Can't you just say 'let the spell be ended' and see if that works again?"

Willow doesn't answer, just storms out of the room.

"Anya. Stop this. It wasn't Willow.” Xander sighs. “It was all me, okay? And I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Anya appears to consider this. Xander turns to Spike, who still looks pissed and jostles him with his shoulder. Spike scowls and pushes him back. Anya watches this exchange with interest, then sighs and flops down on the couch next to Andrew.

"I don't know why I'm so surprised, really. Xander always was a little..." Anya sees them looking and trails off.

"Hey! Little? A little what? There is no little."

Spike sighs happily. "Got that right." Xander elbows him hard in the ribs.

Andrew's eyes are huge and Anya looks furious. Xander clutches Spike's elbow and steers him into the kitchen where Willow, Buffy and Giles are sitting at the table.

"Great googlymoogly. Can we be done talking about the Xander and Spike show? Isn't there some evil afoot? Please tell me there's evil."

"Lots of evil. Plenty for everyone." Buffy starts talking about what they know about the Bringers at the vineyard, and Xander tries to listen but he's freaking out in his own head thinking that he just told his biggest secret ever, he told his friends, and his ex-girlfriend and here they are, sitting together and talking about the latest big bad, like everything is normal. It's comforting and relaxing and completely weird, but he'll take it.

Part Four

Spike is all over him on the way home, groping him and licking his ear and it's all Xander can do just to keep the car between the lines. They are barely in the door before Spike has him pressed against it, and his tongue swirling around his mouth. And Xander realizes that up until now Spike has been letting Xander set the pace. Now he's demanding and pushy, pulling Xander's shirt up to expose his chest and grinding against him in a way that's making Xander crazy. Spike pulls him into the bedroom, and throws him on the bed, and that's a move Xander will never get tired of. Somehow all of their clothes have disappeared, but before Xander can ask how he did that, Spike is slithering down Xander's body and going right for his cock. Xander shouts when he feels all that wet suction sliding down and his world goes blurry around the edges for a long time.

He's teetering on the edge and trying hard not to come when Spike pulls off his cock with a loud, wet sound that goes straight to his balls. He opens his eyes when he feels Spike move up his body and straddle his waist. Spike's ass is right on his dick, and fuck that's hot. His skin is firm and smooth and he's putting just the right amount of pressure right where Xander needs it. And then he starts moving. He's rubbing and grinding and it's killing Xander in the best way and then his cock slides right between Spike's cheeks and oh god, that's exactly where he wants to be, where he needs to be. Now. He grabs onto Spike's hips and thrusts up, trying to get more of that delicious friction against his cock. Spike chuckles at him and moves back, moves that sweet ass away, and no, don't go, come back here and ride me some more...

Spike flips open a tube of lube that Xander's never seen before but he's too horny to ask questions right now. He watches as Spike dribbles lube all over Xander's fingers and he knows what's coming next, and the anticipation is killing him. Spike straddles Xander again, leaning over him and opening his legs and Xander groans. He slides his wet fingers between Spike's legs and they both groan and Spike sort of shimmies his hips and the tip of Xander's finger goes in. He works it in further and god, Spike's so tight and smooth inside. He thinks about sliding his cock in that fine ass, and shivers. He pulls his finger out and slides two fingers right back in. Spike is moaning and working his hips back on Xander's fingers like it feels really good.

"Want you in me, Xander. Gonna ride you all night..."

Xander moans and thinks he's never going to last that long. His hands are clutching Spike's hips now and Spike is pushing his ass against the head of Xander's cock and it's never going to fit. Xander feels like screaming. He wants this so bad, wants in, but Spike is too tight, and he doesn't want to hurt him. He thinks about flipping Spike over, putting his legs up and fucking him hard and Xander has to bite his lip to keep from coming right there. He tries to calm down and trust that Spike knows what he's doing.

Spike catches Xander's eye and holds it, watching his face intently as he squirms and pushes back, trying to get it in.

"God, Spike, stop. It's hurting you, isn't it?"

"Yeah, hurts. Fucking hurts, so good...fuck..." and just like that the head pops in. Spike groans and doesn't stop. Spike grinds his hips back and takes all of Xander in a long, slow slide down until his round ass is firm against Xander's pelvis. He sits up and grins at Xander, tip of his tongue peeking out and starts moving. Fucking himself on Xander's cock. Long, slow slide out and then twisting his hips back down. It's the hottest thing he's ever seen, and his dick is just so happy right now, in this tight, silky new place that's just his favorite place ever. He jabs his cock up just when Spike is sliding down and goes deep, deeper than before and they both gasp. Spike's cock is hard and dripping and Xander can't look away. He rubs his fingers over the wet head and Spike gasps and his ass flutters around Xander's cock. Xander keeps his hand on Spike's cock, thumb pressed hard right under the head and Spike is groaning and losing his rhythm, hips stuttering and stopping. Xander thrusts up hard, fucking Spike now, bouncing him on his cock and fuck...Xander shouts when he comes.

And Spike doesn't stop. He keeps moving, his hands braced on Xander's chest. And Xander dropped his hand, so no one is even touching Spike's cock when he starts to come. Xander watches in awe as Spike comes, just from the feel of Xander's cock, grinding down once more and spurting all over Xander's belly. He rolls off Xander and collapses on his back, sprawled wantonly and taking up more than his fair share of the bed. Xander's heart is still racing from his own orgasm and he closes his eyes for a minute as he calms down. He can't bear not touching Spike, though, so he rolls over and slides his arm over the other man's chest.

He moves his hand lightly over Spike's skin, palm just barely making contact. He keeps his touches light and brushes his hand over Spike's silky skin in long, smooth strokes. Over his shoulders and down his chest, thumb teasing a nipple on the way down. Spike closes his eyes and his breathing slows. When Xander's hands skim over certain places, Spike's breath hitches. Fascinated by this, Xander tries to find the right spots to make Spike breathe heavy. Xander leans in close to Spike, wanting to keep this moment quiet.

"Why do you do that? Breathe heavy when I touch you. You don't have to breathe at all, so why...?"

"Body remembers." Spike mumbles without opening his eyes. He squirms and arches his back a little, clearly asking for more touching. Xander begins stroking him again, hands brushing over the long, lithe muscles of Spike's arms, fingers tracing nonsense words over his flat stomach. Xander moves his hand lower, watching Spike's face. He traces the line of hair down, and Spike's breathing quickens.

Xander is glad Spike's eyes are still closed because he can't stop looking at him. He watches his hand move over Spike's creamy skin and can't believe he's allowed to do this. That Spike's naked with him, and letting him touch him all over. That his hands and his touch are making Spike breathe and gasp and pant. And Xander thinks he finally gets it now, he understands what people mean by afterglow. Because he feels like he's filled with warm light from his head to his toes, and he stretches his legs a little to feel the soft pulses of pleasure buzz up and down his limbs. He feels like the luckiest guy on earth.

He brushes his hand over Spike's cheek softly, traces his fingers over the baby fine hairs where his hairline begins. He's mine. He said he was mine. Xander's eyes drink in Spike's blissed out face and naked body splayed out in his bed.

"You're so beautiful." The words tumble out of Xander's mouth without his permission, but he's drowsy and feels so good he can't bring himself to care.

Spike's eyes open at that, and he smiles slowly at Xander. It's affectionate and, well, beautiful. Xander can't help but smile back.

Spike tips his head back slightly, and Xander knows he wants a kiss. And when he leans in to oblige, Xander feels his own breath hitch in anticipation.

His lips slide wetly over Spike's. Xander slides his tongue into Spike's pliant mouth and moans softly when their tongues meet. They kiss for a long time. When Xander finally pulls away, his mouth feels swollen and sensitive. He licks his lips, and almost gasps at the sensation. Spike is staring at his mouth.

"You have such a sweet mouth. Wanna kiss you all night..."

Xander groans at the memory those words invoke, of their first night together and he kisses Spike again.

~*~*~*~*~

The plan is to meet at Buffy's the next night and take the slayer girl army to the vineyard to face this new guy, Caleb, head on. Xander showers and eats, then decides the only sensible thing to do is to get back in bed with Spike until it's time to go.

Xander stretches lazily and regards Spike in the faint light let in by the blinds. The raid on the vineyard is thudding in the back of his mind, a drum beat of anxiety that he has no rational explanation for. He's backed up Buffy before; this time shouldn't be any different.

What he really wants to do is to talk to Spike about their relationship. He thinks this might be the only chance he has.

"What." Spike is morning grumpy and looking at him suspiciously.

"What?"

"You look like you have something to say. So, say it already. The suspense is killing me." Spike is affecting a look of total boredom as he lights and smokes his morning cigarette, but something about his posture is tense. Xander wonders how he knows how to read his body language so soon, but with a flash he realizes just how long he's known Spike.

"Just...what is this? What are we doing here, Spike?"

Spike lifts the sheets and looks down. At Xander's confused look, Spike says "Just making sure you still have man parts. I thought for a minute there you turned into a girl during the night."

"Spike. We live on a Hellmouth. Don't even joke about that."

Spike considers this. "Willow could probably turn you into a girl. She tried, with that bloke with the jacket a few weeks ago. Bet she still has the stuff..."

Xander wants to smack him with a pillow, but he doesn't want to set the bed on fire, either.

"You want me to turn into a girl? I think I'm insulted."

"Now, now. Don't be like that." Spike stubs his cigarette and stretches out on his side, running the tips of his fingers over Xander's cock. Xander smacks his hand away.

"Oh no, you don't. You don't even like cock. You wish I was a girl." Xander pulls the sheets up to his chin and sniffles a little for effect.

"Mmmm...you'd be a sexy girl, Xander. Bet you'd be stacked. Nice round ass and big tits. I'd lick you all over, drive you out of your mind. You'd beg me to lick your sweet pussy..." Spike somehow has managed to get his hand under the sheets and is fondling Xander as he describes what he would do with a girl Xander. It's confusing and embarrassing, and incredibly arousing.

Spike leans over and gazes into Xander's eyes, stroking his hair back gently. He dips his head and licks softly over a nipple. And Xander has never really liked having his nipples played with before, but Spike keeps at it. Lapping and sucking one until it's wet and red, then moving to the other and working it over just as gently.

"Such pretty tits." Spike's voice is husky and his words are making Xander crazy. This whole thing is crazy and confusing and he can't believe how much he's getting off on it.

Spike threads his fingers through Xander's hair and kisses him so sweetly. He's covering Xander like a blanket, lying between Xander's open legs.

"Wanna taste you." Xander groans at that and watches Spike's head disappear under the covers. Xander closes his eyes and waits to feel Spike's mouth on his cock, but Spike has other ideas. He strokes his fingers over Xander's inner thighs, making him moan and spread his legs more. Spike pushes Xander's legs up and licks the curve of his ass. Xander wants to squirm away, but Spike isn't stopping and his tongue is driving Xander out of his mind. Spike pushes his legs up further.

"Hold 'em up." Xander moans and wiggles nervously but does it. And Spike slides his tongue in and brushes his opening softly, making Xander groan and clutch at his legs. Spike doesn't stop, he's licking all around and dipping his tongue just barely inside. Fuck. Xander's heart is racing and he's breathing so hard he thinks he's going to hyperventilate. Spike licks him for a long time before he firms his tongue and pushes in. Xander moans loudly and clutches his legs tighter. Xander's so hard he's dripping and dying to come, but Spike doesn't seem like he's in a hurry. He takes his time, licking Xander out, his wicked tongue thrusting in and sliding out and making Xander's asshole throb and flutter around his tongue. When he thinks he just can't take anymore and he's going to come right now, just from this, Spike stops and draws back. Xander moans "No, don't stop."

"Not stopping." Spike finally puts his mouth on Xander's cock. Xander groans with relief and relaxes, just as he feels Spike's slick finger sliding into him. Oh god. He concentrates on the feeling of Spike's mouth on his cock and just lets it happen. The finger slides in and out slowly, letting Xander get used to it. And just when Xander thinks it isn't that bad Spike crooks his finger and rubs against something that makes Xander shout. He keeps his finger there, rubbing over that spot again and again while he sucks Xander. It's making him crazy, that finger sending jolts of pleasure through his body.

Spike adds another finger and that's a little uncomfortable again. Then Spike does something with his tongue that pulls Xander's attention back to the very nice blow job he's getting and away from his throbbing ass. Until Spike pushes both fingers against that spot again and Xander yelps. Spike lets his cock slide out of his mouth and starts licking all around his fingers, making Xander cry out and shake. It's going to make Xander come, those long fingers pressing into his ass and that wicked tongue swirling around and making him crazy. He hovers on the edge of orgasm for so long it's almost a relief when Spike finally pulls back. He doesn't give him time to recover though, just pushes his legs back even further and hooks them over his shoulders.

"Ready for this, pet?"

"Yeah." Xander's voice is rough.

Spike rubs his dick against him, and oh god, this is really happening. Xander squeezes his eyes shut and prepares himself for the pain he's expecting.

Spike jostles him, making him open his eyes. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Relax. Take a deep breath." Xander takes a deep breath and tries not to tense up again. He keeps his eyes locked on Spike's and feels the nudge of Spike's cock against him. Spike slowly, so slowly, presses in. Xander takes long, deep breaths, and watches Spike's face. It hurts, a little at first, but once he pushes past the tight opening it's easier. He just slides right in, until he's all the way inside Xander and they both groan. Spike just stays there for a long moment, eyes locked on Xander's. Xander gets used to the tight stretch and the feeling of being filled and thinks it's not that bad. Not great, but not the hot white pain he was expecting.

Then Spike starts moving. And pain is the last thing on his mind. It doesn't hurt at all now, it's just this long, slow slide and Spike's thick cock is rubbing right over that spot that is Xander's new favorite body part. Pleasure wells up like a wave that washes over him and Xander cries out and pushes back against Spike wanting more. Spike moans and fucks him harder, jabbing his cock right where Xander wants it and oh god, he's going to come from this, on his back with his feet up like a girl. He's going to come on Spike's cock.

Spike swivels his hips and that makes Xander yell and clutch at Spike's arms. Spike slides one hand down and curls his fingers around Xander's cock and that's it, he's coming, body tense and ass fluttering around Spike. Spike slows down his thrusts and slides in even deeper than before, groaning. Spike keeps fucking him, long slow strokes in and out that make Xander gasp. Then he cries out and comes, and the look on his face is beautiful and it makes Xander's chest feel tight.

Spike pulls out and lets go of Xander's legs. Xander stretches out with a sigh of relief and grimaces at the wet feeling between his legs. He feels awesome. Boneless and worn out and pulses of pleasure are still working through his body. Spike is draped over him, eyes closed and mouth open. Doesn't look like he's going to be moving any time soon. He wraps his arms around Spike and closes his eyes for just a second.

~*~*~*~*~

When they finally wake up again, it's almost time to leave, and Xander really wants another shower but there's no time. They have to rush around just to get dressed and out the door, and Xander is in a foul mood when they get to Buffy's. His ass feels loose and slippery and it's weird and embarrassing to walk around like that. Spike is smirking at him and looking incredibly pleased with himself, and Xander gives him the dirtiest look he can muster. It just makes Spike grin wider. Asshole.

It takes forever to organize the girls and get the weapons sorted, and Xander just wants to go home. He's still anxious about this plan, but he can't put his finger on anything wrong, so he says nothing and helps when he can.

Once they get to the vineyard, Buffy divides them up and Xander hangs back with Faith and the second wave of potentials. Spike locks eyes with Xander before turning to follow Buffy.

Xander listens at the door, hearing fighting and things breaking. They hear a loud crash and Xander goes through the door, crossbow in hand just in time to see Spike tossed into a wine cask, which bursts and gushes blood red wine all over the floor. Spike is unconscious.

Xander’s dread intensifies.

Caleb calls out more Bringers and the girls are busy fighting again. Xander looks around for Buffy, and oh god, she's out too. Rona is down, clutching her wrist and Xander sees a Bringer with a knife heading right for her. He takes aim and shoots an arrow through the Bringer's wrist. Faith and two of the potentials are right behind him and they charge into the fray.

Xander takes a look around, judging his position and trying to find a way to get to Spike. He's closer to Buffy, though, so he races to her and helps her sit up.

"Get them out of here, Xander. Now. We have to retreat."

Xander nods and makes his way over to the closest potential. He sees Spike getting to his feet and the relief is overwhelming. He helps as many of the girls as he can get up and out the door.

"Faith! We have to go!" She stumbles to her feet and gives him a hand with the girls that are left. He hears Spike yelling at Buffy that they need to go, now, and Xander scans the room, looking for any remaining potentials. He sees Kennedy trying to get up, broken glass all around her from a wine rack Caleb tossed her into. He hurries over to her, helping her stand. He gets her to the door and turns around one last time and suddenly Caleb is there.

Xander freezes, unable to move as Caleb squeezes his neck between his hands and laughs.

"You’re the one who sees everything, aren't you?"

Xander struggles but Caleb’s hands are hard and cold and he can't get away. He feels them tightening, his thumb pressing hard...

"Let's see what we can't do about that."

He barely sees the flash of white out of the corner of his eye, but suddenly he's on his back, all the air knocked out of his lungs. He hears a struggle and sits up, just in time to see Spike pummeling Caleb's head into the floor. Buffy pulls Xander up and they run out the door, Spike stumbling behind them.

~*~*~*~*~

He and Spike take the injured girls to the hospital and sit with Buffy for a while, talking to her. Eventually they take her back to Revello Drive and help patch up the rest of the girls that are already there. No one is saying much, and the tension in the room is suffocating. They leave as soon as they can, back to the comfort of their apartment.

Spike is quiet on the drive home, twitchy and restless. Xander wants to say something, say hey look, I'm fine, we're fine, everything is okay. But it's not okay. Girls died tonight and they have nothing to show for it. Xander thinks maybe that feeling of dread is this, just this feeling of helplessness in the face of unconquerable evil. For the first time ever, he wonders if Buffy can actually stop this thing.

And as hard as it is to face the end, to know he might only have a few days left in this life, he can't help but feel happy when he thinks that at least he has this, whatever this is with Spike. He got to feel this incredible, fierce joy of what he's pretty sure now is love, and even if this is the end, at least he had this.

When they get inside, Spike pushes him roughly against the door, hands all over him, running over his face and neck and shoulders.

"Can't believe that bastard touched you, grabbed your face like that. I'm gonna rip his fucking hands off and shove them down his throat..."

Xander cuts him off by shoving his tongue in his mouth. He's as desperate for contact as Spike is, clutching his shoulders and pulling him as close as possible. They tear at each other's clothes, pushing and pulling at each other until Xander feels his legs bump against the arm of the couch. Spike turns him around and bends him over the arm and Xander is naked but Spike still has his jeans on. He doesn't take them off either, just pulls his cock out shoves in. Xander is still slick from this morning, but it's not quite enough, and it burns and Xander pushes back, wanting to feel it.

Spike fucks him hard, his jeans rubbing against Xander's bare skin and the thought that he's totally naked while Spike is dressed is making him crazy. Spike is screwing him fast, selfish, just pumping into his ass with abandon, not even trying to get Xander off. Xander feels used and slutty and so fucking turned on. Spike owns his ass, moving him where he wants him, pushing him up and over the arm of the couch until his upper body is smashed into the couch cushions. He's up on his tip-toes, trying to keep his balance when Spike changes his thrusts, slows down and fucks Xander right. He's right where Xander wants him, hitting that spot on every stroke and Xander straightens his legs, muscles tight and stretched from being on his toes and it's too much, it's sensory overload, the stretch of his legs and his cock grinding into the rough material of the couch, and Spike is fucking him hard and fast and he comes so hard he can't see.

And he hears loud and clear what Spike's body is telling him without words. He hears what he's been longing to hear from Spike all along. Spike belongs to Xander, he knows that, Spike told him that. But Xander knows now. He belongs to Spike, too.

The End

Feed the Author