Fandom:Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel the Series
Author: eyezrthewindows
Rating: PG
Characters: Spike/Xander
Warnings: None. Maybe a little schmoop, though, at the end. Got a little out of hand. Prepare to give yourself insulin shots if needed.
Notes: This fic is for virtualpersonal who sent this little bunny out over at waywardbunnies a while ago. Yep, finally got it done and it probably isn't what you were expecting but... I hope you like it anyway. Sorry it took so long... You know how muses are... *whispers* they're complete diva bitches!
Summary: A deal to get the chip turned off ends up having a slightly different payment than Spike anticipates.
Disclaimer: It may come as a surprise but I'm not Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy and therefore I do not own Spike or any of his many shagging and verbal sparring partners. I weep for the injustice of it all and play with these characters in the fiction I write because this is pretty much all the fun I have.
Betaed: kitty_poker1

Mystic Egg Timer

by
Eyezrthewindows

Spike made the deal not knowing what was truly at stake. He knew the chip would be out and he'd be free but not what he'd have to do in order to make it happen.

No price could be too big to rid himself of this crap existence. So he thought.

He was still in shock after the demon had stuck its fingers inside his brain and played around for a bit to look into his mind and put some sort of mojo on him. A mystic egg timer or something.

After he got past the horror and shock, the pain and fear he experienced, he felt like his head was full of thick, black oil, too heavy for his neck. Everything looked a little strange around the edges and he moved sluggishly, staggered a bit and tried to shake off the sick, disassociative feelings unsuccessfully as he was released.

It was almost the same sensation he remembered from being human and having influenza -- not pleasant at all, like he was in a pain riddled sick dream -- but at least he wasn't dripping snot and coughing mucous up by the bucket full this time.

The demon had grinned a sharp, gap-toothed grin that was surely smug and knowing, purred at him and taken its pleasure in his conflicting emotions for a few minutes more without even having to touch him; they remained psychically bonded for an eternity to Spike. Apparently, that was its payment and its meal. Was no skin off its...bulbous eyestalks if he didn't get the mission carried out on time.

Three hours. He had three hours to get Xander Harris -- one who wouldn't fall to his charms easily -- to kiss him.

It couldn't be coerced. It couldn't be forced. It couldn't be stolen when the boy was drunk and/or unconscious.

It couldn't involve Spike jumping on him and taking what he needed.

No, Spike had to use his not inconsiderable charms to get a heterosexual Xander to kiss an omnisexual vampire.

Xander had to actually put effort into it and want it to happen.

Spike was a very sexy bloke who could seduce just about anyone but...he really didn't think he could do the near impossible in three hours!

He spent twenty precious minutes after the mind-numbing session stumbling out of the demon's den, panicking and trying to formulate a plan through the slow workings of his slippery mind.

Then, he figured he'd just wing it. What did he have to lose?

Well, the chip, that's what, but...

He shook his head and strode purposefully toward Xander's apartment.

After he squinted at the creeping oily darkness that seemed to crawl around him and got his bearings relatively straight.

Two hours, fifteen minutes and counting had him arriving at the door, surprisingly nervous and jittery.

Boy didn't like him, he didn't like the boy and yet...

Yeah, he could admit Xander was fuckable. If he'd just shut his fucking mouth and look pretty like he was supposed to, it'd make him even more attractive to Spike.

Spike could definitely find uses for his big mouth when it wasn't blathering on about absolutely nothing at all.

He heard movement inside but Xander was thankfully alone. Wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't, though. Spike would've found someway to rid the boy of the unwanted -- by Spike -- company.

Knocked on the door and footsteps padded slowly towards him. He was strangely fascinated by the light outside the door. It glowed dark around the edges and white in the center.

Reminded him of those old oil paintings rendered by artists back in Spike's human days.

He heard a hearty sigh when Xander obviously checked the peephole and saw who was standing at his door and then the locks were unlocking, the chain unhooking and Xander was swinging the door open with a suspicious look on his face.

Spike's eyes went wide. Despite the brackish filter he seemed to be looking through, Xander looked brighter than any star. Brighter than that damned light he'd been entranced by.

Everything else faded away.

Xander was his world, now.

And he was so very pretty.

"What do you want, Fangless? Can't you see I'm busy?"

Even his very voice was beautiful. Spike could almost see the words as they passed plump, pink lips. He wanted to touch them.

Spike shifted from one foot to the other, shoving both hands into his duster to keep them from reaching out and touching Xander's skin. He blinked slowly, vision settling a little. "Can I come in?"

Xander's eyelashes fluttered, as if surprised by Spike's lack of insult and his strange politeness, and Spike watched glitter dance across the boy's eyelids. "Uh...I guess."

Spike arched a brow and straightened his spine. "Not really enough."

He'd never been invited to Xander's place before. Hadn't a reason to be, actually.

Not that Xander would've given him the permission even if Spike's ass had been aflame.

"Oh, yeah." Xander bit his full bottom lip and shifted backwards. His sweatpants sagged lower on sharp hipbones when he stepped on the hems and Spike got a peek of taut, slightly tanned flesh dancing with sparkling lights where shadows creased over muscle.

Boy'd been working out. Wasn't as pudgy as he had been.

Pretty.

"You swear you won't fuck up any of my stuff?"

Spike rolled his eyes slowly. Wasn't Xander's possessions Spike wanted to get up close and personal with. "Don't want to touch any of your 'stuff'. Just need somewhere to, uh..." He thought frantically for a moment, waving a hand so hard he nearly fell over, "...hide out for a bit. Somewhere that needs an invitation, like, right?"

Xander's wary look turned sour. "Of course. Hiding out from demon creditors, Spike? Very classy of you. Also, probably hazardous to my health but... Come in, I guess," he said with a heaving sigh that made his broad shoulders shift and bunch beneath his thin t-shirt.

Spike stepped inside, Xander locked up the apartment and he was finally in the inner sanctum.

Well, at least he'd gotten this far.

Still had two hours now. He could do this.

He could fucking do this.

If only the world would stop this fucking incessant oily wavering thing it was doing. Was like he was under thick water.

He was rather enjoying the glittery dancing light thing, though.

Whatever that demon did was better than any drug Spike had ever had.

"You look high."

Spike jumped, eyes widening even more. "Do I? I do. Huh. Very odd. That. Hmm."

"Yeeeah," Xander drawled slowly, backing away a little. "You're one odd vampire."

"Yeah, been told that."

The first few minutes were spent awkwardly in the kitchen with Xander staring at him thoughtfully and Spike trying not to fall over, the way the world kept tilting and spinning and spitting out these bloody wonderful variations in colour that he'd never known existed before.

He considered asking him right out if he could have a snog but figured that wouldn't go over too well -- re: Spike getting his stoned ass kicked -- so he decided to bide his time.

It was all he could do, under the circumstances, unless he wanted to get himself dusted.

Though, an irresistible pull had him moving before he could think of what he was doing.

He sidled up behind Xander when he turned to reach for a glass in one of the cupboards and, as Xander turned around with two glasses in his hands, Spike was mere inches away, leaning slightly forward and staring at his lips.

Xander jumped, visibly bit back a shriek and blinked rapidly. "Uh, Spike. It's called personal space. Learn the meaning of that, would you?"

"Yeah, sure," Spike said faintly, watching Xander slide from between him and the counter.

"Soda?"

Spike sighed and the colours swirled as if mocking him. Wasn't really what he wanted, of course, but... "Fine."

Forty-five minutes later, he was fidgeting and nearly spilling his neon-piss-coloured Mountain Dew all over his lap. Didn't need to be stoned to see wild colours in that particular beverage.

Bloody nerves. He hadn't been this nervous since he'd lost his virginity to Angelus nearly two centuries ago. And that had been painful as well as unexpected, considering he'd been incredibly naive in the ways of the world back then.

Didn't help, though, that Angelus had literally attacked him and ripped his clothing off, barely giving him any time to realise what was happening to him before he'd ripped Spike open with his massive dick and fucked him into the mattress.

Spike hadn't even known men could do such things together at the time.

And now he was feeling the same damned anxiety over this boy? Well, maybe more so over the kiss-and-get-rid-of-the-chip-on-a-timer thing, but mostly the same thing.

Probably something that damn demon did to him. Couldn't be good, what he did.

Fingers inside brains? Very unclean. Also, might've caused some sort of irreversible -- even for the regenerative powers of vampires -- brain damage.

And wasn't that just what he needed?

He was better than this. A better actor than this. He could almost see himself behaving stupidly, obviously not acting himself.

Surely Xander was suspicious of his motives, of why he seemed so fucking fidgety?

But no. Xander was watching telly obliviously, drink in one hand, bowl of popcorn with melted M&M's on top right smack in the middle of his lap and his mighty television remote at his side.

He hadn't even really twitched when Spike had settled not too far away from him. Spike was more affected by the nearness than him, it seemed.

Hmmm.

He reached for the popcorn and made a show of digging deep down into the bowl. The bowl shifted and rolled in Xander's lap and the boy tensed for a moment, as if waiting for Spike to pull back, but when Spike didn't he turned to look at him sharply.

"Spike," he said, voice strangled in his throat.

Spike blinked at him innocently and brought a sticky, salty, greasy handful of snack food to his mouth. Even the bloody food did the swirly colour thing. "What?"

Dark eyes narrowed. But Xander didn't say anything.

He did, however, shift very unsubtly about six inches over and place the bowl between them on the couch.

He went back to watching his shitty Scifi whatsit and Spike slumped into the couch with a sigh. His heavy head fell back and he chewed and chewed until his jaw was tired and he just swallowed the sweet salty combination.

Okay, this was probably going to be more difficult than he thought.

His eyes grew heavy and he didn't mean to, fucking well didn't want to, especially given the circumstances, but he was dragged down into the murky bogs of sleep without his permission or control.

Dammit! The fucking demon had cheated him!

No way he could get a kiss if he was unconscious!

No wonder the bastard had been smug and amused when he'd left.

Last thing he remembered before he passed out was falling onto Xander's shoulder, it tensing, and the incredible heat that radiated from his body.

Well, all of that and the incredible hatred and shock rushing through him over being screwed on the deal.

He should've known not to trust that damned demon. Demons weren't to be trusted at all.

Spike woke up unable to move. That frightened him, actually, but what was currently happening scared him even more.

He couldn't open his eyes, either. No matter how much he tried.

The demon never said anything about this!

Actually, the demon never mentioned anything other than 'payment' and 'you'll get what you desire after you pay', blah blah yadda yadda.

He tried to speak and that was impossible, too.

Oh, Christ, he was going to be paralyzed forever, a prisoner of his own immortal body, stuck on Harris' couch!

Warm fingers touched his cheek and it was then he realised Xander thought he was still asleep. He vaguely wondered how much time he had left, if any, and then felt his head tilted and even warmer lips touch his own.

His eyes snapped open as soon as their mouths touched but he didn't move. His body was still mostly frozen, anyway, though it was unlocking.

Xander was kissing him!

The hell?

And he was a damned good kisser. Lips sweeping gently over Spike's closed ones, a firm press of moistened flesh against Spike's slowly unfreezing ones.

The kiss was tentative, as if trying not to awaken Spike, but Spike couldn't help wondering how a real kiss would feel. One with lots of tongue, wet noises and enough pressure to almost be painful because those were the kind you could really feel and get into.

Spike, finally able to open his mouth and move, shoved a hand into Xander's hair and straddled his lap before Xander could really understand what was happening. His tongue thrust into Xander's mouth, his hips ground down and he met Xander's sweet kiss with an astounding level of passion he didn't know he had in him -- for Xander.

After several minutes of frantic kissing and touching, Xander wrenched his mouth away, breathing hard, and stared up, bewildered, at Spike.

"Wha-- I thought you were asleep!"

"Molest a lot of blokes in their sleep, do you?"

Xander swallowed and licked his lips, his ears turned red.

Spike followed the movement and then frowned as a strange feeling swept over him.

"No!" Xander denied hotly, flushing deep red everywhere else Spike could see. "It's just...well." He sighed. "I never expected to be able to kiss you, well, ever. Figured I had to take the opportunity given to me. I mean, I know it was wrong to do it to your unconscious body but, hey, you woke up and...whoa, you are some kisser!"

Spike took a moment to preen before the weird feeling began tugging at his brain like a seizure -- he'd had plenty of those involving the chip.

The chip!

He'd forgotten about the poxy deal and the demon!

Said a lot for the boy's kissing experience, really.

His eyes rolled back as he began to convulse and he fell off the brunet's lap, hitting the floor with a harsh thud. Good thing there wasn't a coffee table or Spike would've conked his head on it, or possibly accidentally staked himself, because he had absolutely no control over his body at the moment and that really would've been just his luck.

He twitched and panted, felt Xander's concerned touch, heard his voice through the tunnel that his ears had become but he couldn't stop writhing on the floor.

And then the pain started. Electric and sharp through his skull, down his spine. Fireworks and electricity exploded in his head. His ears rang. All his bits throbbed and hurt. His nose, ears and eyes began to bleed; he could smell it all clearly. The carpet pile hurt his face, rough and biting.

And then it just stopped. Everything receded and he was slowly going unconscious, dripping blood that tickled.

It was probably a blessing because, Christ, that had been unpleasant.

His second waking wasn't as pleasant as the last one but Xander was cleaning the blood from his face with a warm, wet towel, which wasn't all bad.

He entered the world of consciousness with a groan and a stifled whimper as he raised a hand to clutch at his splitting head to see if it was, in fact, actually splitting open. It wasn't but that wasn't very reassuring.

He shifted on the couch -- boy must've moved him during his bout of unconsciousness -- and everything went gray for a moment. He swallowed thickly around the bile rising in his throat and just managed not to toss his cookies all over Xander.

"Ow. Fuck."

"Shit, Spike, you scared the hell out of me! What happened?" Xander asked frantically from his kneeling position beside the couch. He clutched the bloody wash cloth. "You totally spazzed out and started seizing or something! I didn't know vampires could do that. Are you okay? Was it the chip?"

Spike moistened his dry lips and sandpapery eyes focused on Xander's concerned face with much effort. He breathed slow and deep, tasting his own blood, and then remembered what his little attack had been all about.

With that much pain and the sort of production put into it, the demon must've kept up his end of the bargain.

He wouldn't find out for sure, though, until he did some damage to a human.

He stared at Xander thoughtfully, then sighed. Couldn't hurt the kid. He was a damned fine kisser and promised to be much more if that sample had been anything to go by.

So.

"Spike?"

He realised he'd been too quiet for too long, just staring at Xander, who looked mildly embarrassed at the concentrated attention Spike had been giving him. He showed concern that grew by the moment but also looked a little disconcerted, which was understandable.

"Oh. Had a fight with that demon I was, uh, hiding out from earlier. Hit me with, uh, some sort of spines. Delayed poison reaction. It's over now. No big deal. Be right as rain in a few minutes."

Xander looked at him a second more before saying, "Are you sure? That was one hell of a reaction, delayed or not. I mean, all that blood..."

"Had to release the toxins somehow, didn't I? My system had to filter it and then get rid of it. And don't worry," Spike said, as Xander pointedly scooted back a bit. "It's not catching. Poison's long gone." Spike fixed bloodshot eyes on Xander and smiled slowly, stretching out on the sofa like a big cat. "And now, I'm fine as wine, I am. Aged to perfection, go down smooth. Give you a nice feeling of well-being and everything."

Xander laughed, flushed and got up to take the bloody cloth away.

Spike sat up gingerly, held his head in his hands and Xander came back with a cold soda.

"I know this isn't what you really need or want or whatever but...here."

"Ta," Spike said, looking up and taking the can, smiling.

Xander fidgeted before seating himself on the couch beside him. "You sure I didn't make that happen somehow? At least part of it? I mean, you got all flail-y after we kissed..."

Spike almost snorted soda out his nose. "Full of yourself, aren't you? Though, I suppose you've a right to be, eh? Dunno, really. Maybe you did at that. Was one hell of a kiss."

Xander smiled a pleased grin, cheeks tinged pink, and Spike settled beside him as the boy watched telly.

He'd go out later and test the chip. For now he'd enjoy this because he'd never felt so warm and content before. At least that he could remember.

And then, he fell asleep again, only this time Xander wrapped an arm around them and maneuvered them so Spike was lying practically on top of him, cuddled in his embrace.

Spike sighed blissfully and forgot all about going out.

Why did he need to go out when he had this right here?

Here Endeth the Story