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A story set in the Holiday!verse
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The Big Ball
by
BmblBee
Part One
Giles sat back in his plush leather chair behind his huge phallic symbol desk. It was good to be king. He had been head of the new Council for about two years and all was wonderful.
Each new crisis that crossed his desk was handled efficiently and quietly by any one of the teams of agents or slayers he had stationed at various posts around the world.
At least five major and twelve minor apocalypse had been averted and there was nothing that he couldn't handle. Pressing the button on the phone in front of him signaled the receptionist to hustle to do his bidding.
Within ten seconds the door opened and the attractive young man stuck his head in. "You called, Ruppy?"
Smiling indulgently, Giles sat back in his chair. "Yes, and Steven,I thought I told you, it has to be Mr. Giles while we
are here at work."
The small brunette giggled. "Of course. In fact I may just call you Mr. Giles after work too. Then we can play boss and naughty employee again."
Giles eyes glazed over at the prompted memories. Shaking his head to clear it he coughed and tried to remember what it was that he wanted.
"Oh, yes, were there any messages this morning?"
Hustling back to his cubby hole, Steven returned with a small stack of pink post it notes. Reading through them as he passed them one by one to his boss.
"First one. Willow called. She is staying another week with Kennedy in Paris practicing being french or practicing frenching. Not sure which." He handed over the note. Obviously nothing about it interested him.
"Second one, there has been an outbreak of toad demons in Ireland. We have a couple of slayer teams over there. We can dispatch one immediately. Should be no problem. After all, wouldn't be the first time. Ireland. Toad demon infestation. Kinda go hand in hand." He tossed that one casually.
Wrinkling his nose and sniffing audibly, Steven held the next note by the tip of the corner. "Third message was from that bitch Ethan Rayne, he wanted to meet you for lunch. Oops, guess that one should have been delivered yesterday.
You missed." That one he crumpled and dropped distastefully.
"Last one is from the Powers. Seems they are taking a two week vacation in dimension Q^ and the Council will need to handle any problems that arise." Trotting around the large curved hard wood desk, Steven plopped down on Giles knee and fluttered his eyes coyly. "Need any DICKtation?"
Smiling, Giles ran his hand up the inside of Steven's thigh and settled in for a pleasant morning.
"Yes, I definitely feel a message rising. How is your short hand?"
Just as his fingers reached a pivotal point on Steven's zipper, the red phone ran.
The red phone always meant trouble. Earth ending tragedy. Nothing Rupert Giles couldn't deal with though. Snatching it up, Giles used his most professional tone. "Ahem, Ruppy Giles here. Yes? NO! What? Where? When? Right, well thank you for the information."
Hanging up, he gave Steven's crotch one last squeeze then pushed him off his lap. Assuming his "Mr. Professional" face he snapped his fingers.
"I need you to check our data base and see what teams we have available in New York City. That was one of our best snitches. He says there are a pack of gremlin demons planning on stopping the ball from dropping New Years Eve in Times Square. Ordinarily I wouldn't care but apparently when the Powers left for their holiday, they set the time line to trigger on the dropping of the ball. In other words if the ball doesn't drop the new year doesn't start. Time will freeze, the world will end yadda yadda. I don't think it should be a real problem. Gremlin demons are fairly harmless. We send a team to New York. Problem solved."
Rupert sat back in his chair. He tried not to look cocky, but there really was nothing he couldn't handle. Smacking Steven on the ass he sent him back to the outer office to locate the names of which of his highly trained agents were available to deal with this. Even from London, he was master of the USA.
Before long Steven returned. The look on his face did not stoke the fires of confidence in Giles . "I believe we have a situation Ruppy. Near as I can tell you have dispatched nearly all of our agents to other cities around the globe. There is almost no one left in that region to deal with the New York problem."
Giles stomach was rapidly getting that sinking feeling. It was a question he would have given his right testicle not to hear
answered, but he knew he must.
"Who is it Steven? Who do we have left?" Standing in the door way and ready to duck back out of the office, Steven answered quietly "Spike and Xander. They are in New York on vacation."
From the look on Ruppy's face, Steven knew there would be no boss and wayward employee games tonight. "NO NO!" Giles sputtered and gestured wildly at the small outer office. "You get your ass right back in there and look again. There has to be someone we can reassign.
What about Smyth? He is only on bereavement leave because his grandmother died. Send him. After all, she'll still be dead when this assignments over won't she?' After pausing for a moment and realizing he couldn't remember if Smyth was one hundred percent human he glanced at Steven. "She will still be dead won't she?"
"Yes, Ruppy, She will still be dead, but I'm sure he will refuse. Especially after you cancelled his last three vacations." Shit, he had forgotten.
Resignation was sinking into his stomach like a week old oyster, and threatening the same result. Dropping back down into his chair, Giles rubbed his hands sensually over the smooth surface of his heavy hard wood desk. Sighing, he laid is cheek down on the desk top. He loved his job. He loved his desk.
He loved that he could snap his fingers and have a juicy little receptionist like Steven rush in and cheerfully climb under said desk and suck Giles cock whenever he wanted.
There was only one thing in the universe could threaten his happy little world.
Make that two things.
Part Two
It had taken some doing, but Spike had perched himself to sit in the lap of the statue of Apollo in the fountain in the center of the city. Xander was standing happily in front of him in knee deep water, sucking Spike's cock.
Water shot from cherubs butts all around them as the night time lights of the city sparkled like diamonds. It was magical.
Giving his balls an extra twiddle and inserting his finger into Spike's ass triggered a shooting orgasm that would have put Apollo to shame. Smiling, Xander prided himself on his timing. He had again brought Spike to climax just as the sound of the sirens could be heard off in distance.
Both would have their pants up and be strolling off in the direction of the hotel before the flashing lights could round the corner. Yep, no one could apply tongue to dick like Xander Harris.
Just as he anticipated, both men were wet, but dressed and whistling, headed for the nearest tavern for a post coital toss back as the car came into view. Suddenly, barreling toward them, was the owner of the lights and siren they had thought they had out maneuvered.
Spinning to a sliding stop in front of them, a young uniformed officer came flying over to the shocked, innocent looking men. Taking a step back, Xander threw his hands in the air.
"It wasn't us! I don't know how to swim! I don't even like to suck dick! He forced me!" Pointing wildly at Spike who had casually assumed the position over the hood of the patrol car. "Really nice, Pet."
"Huh? Aren't you two Mr. Harris and Mr. Headcheese?"
"Ah, must be a message from the Watcher, eh Love?" Spike had now turned around and leaned against the car as he lit a cigarette.
Instantly regaining his composure, Xander joined his partner. "Yes sir, that's us. What can we do for you?"
Fishing into his pocket, the officer brought out a slip of paper and looking all around with his best 007 imitation, he handed it to Xander. Following his eyes, Xander also scanned the area, not sure what he was looking for but upon deciding he didn't find it, he relaxed and checked the note.
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Spike & Xander |
Xander fished around in his pockets. "He's right. I don't have my phone on me. Do you know where the phone is?"
"NO SEX??" Spike was stunned. "Thank God we don't give a flying fuck what the watcher says right Xan?" Spike was bouncing nervously around Xander as he stood deep in thought.
"I was sure I had it earlier. I remember playing video poker and using the camera phone at home around noon when I was taking a shit. Oh, by the way, you will be getting some pics on your e-mail." Scratching his head, Xander continued to think.
Spike was quickly getting hysterical. "NO SEX, Xander. Wait a minute. You don't suppose he means blow jobs too do you? I mean after all there was a presidential endorsement that stated officially that blow jobs are not sex. Oh, thank God we got that settled. Whew. So what do you think Xan. Are hand jobs sex?"
Xander stopped dead in his tracks with his hands on his hips. "Did you purposely leave the phone at home?"
Satisfied they had come to an understanding on the "no sex" issue, Spike relaxed considerably. "Oh, yeah I did. It interferes with my concentration."
Deciding that was a reasonable excuse, Xander opened the tavern door and stepped aside. "After you, Buddy."
"Thank you very much, partner." Spike strolled in and selected a stool. And they sat down for a beer.
Sometime later, Xander reached into his pocket for money to pay the tab. "I'm done, Spike. Let's take this show on the road and head back. Frowning and scratching a butt cheek, Xander paused at the door. Seems like there was something we were supposed to do. Can you remember?"
"Nope. Must not have been important."
Shrugging, Xander let Spike lead him out onto the street. Passing through the park, Spike began growling deep in his throat. When Xander looked back, he saw that Spike had switched to game face and was showing a mouthful of fangs.
Squealing, Xander jumped back and dramatically clutched his heart. "Oh help help. The big bad vampire is going to eat me." With that he turned and giggling ran for the center of the park, Spike hot on his heels.
The chase was quick and mercifully short as both men were already hard and found the running increasingly uncomfortable.
Tackling him from behind, Spike bent Xander over the back of a park bench and unceremoniously jerked down his pants.
Humming happily, Spike went through the mechanics of lubing and stretching the cooperative hole in front of him.
"Ah, Spike..."
"Not now, Love. I'm in the zone." Short stepping up to the happy hole, Spike aimed and pushed forward. "OH, fuck yeah." Spike sighed and placed his forehead on Xander's back. "Jesus, Love, you are always so tight." Spike pulled back till just the head was still snuggly held in Xander's body.
"Feels good Spike, but..."
"Shhh. Don't worry, Xan. I won't leave you hangin'." Spike slammed forward.
Xander bent down further and spread his legs as far as they would go.
Setting a fast pace, Spike rammed into Xander's prostate, canceling any thoughts Xander could muster. Reaching around, Spike wrapped his fist on Xander's cock and began stroking.
The pace and intensity picked up.
Xander's vocabulary had slipped to "Fuck, fuck, fuck." signaling he couldn't hold off much longer. It was a good thing because Spike could feel the ache in his balls and knew he was close too.
As always Spike tried to make sure Xander would come first. He liked the way Xander's ass clenched and tightened painfully in spasms as his balls unloaded through his cock.
Clinging to the last remnant of will power he had, Spike froze as Xander's orgasm erupted. The interior muscles working his cock were too much and Spike came just seconds behind him. Literally.
After giving their overworked bodies a few moments to float back to earth, Spike slid out carefully. Gently tucking himself away, Spike then assisted Xander with a quick clean up and jeans adjustment.
"What was it you were trying to say, Xan? Cause you know I'm not big on the conversation during."
Xander pointed in the direction of the seat of the bench they were previously occupied with.
Peering over the back, Spike spotted a vagrant stretched out and looking up.
"Got any spare change?"
"Spot the man a saw buck, Love. I'm ready for bed." Yawning, Spike strolled casually in the direction of the hotel.
Part Three
Laughing and tumbling back in the front door of the apartment, Spike headed to the kitchen for a pint of A+, already dropping his clothes as he went. "Cup of cocoa before bed, Xan?"
Xander dropped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes. "Sounds good, just wish I could remember what it was I forgot."
"Don't stress yourself, Love. Stress can cause impotence. Can't have that now can we."
Xander chuckled, "Imagine us going without sex." Xander's eyes got big. "NO SEX. Giles note.! Spike, you ass, you were trying to distract me so I would forget weren't you?"
Spike came out of the kitchen with a blood mustache and an innocent look on his face. "You wound me pet. My feelings are hurt. I'm crushed. I don't know what you can do to make this up to me. Well, o.k. maybe a blow job, but only if you rim me first."
Xander stood his ground. He would not be swayed by a pretty cock wearing a beehive hair do. "Giles gave us an order. No sex. Besides, it's an easy job. Tomorrow night we go to Times Square make sure the ball drops and BAM - world saved again. After that we come back here and I blow your brains out your dick. Good plan?"
"Not bad. Not bad." Spike appeared to actually be giving it some serious thought. "Might be even better if you suck me for a few minutes first. I can be quick. Besides why the fuck should we take orders from ole Rupert. Not like he's doin' without. Got that little tart Steven doin' his bidding."
"Think about it Spike, if we don't do what Gile's says we lose the cushiest job either one of us has ever had. The Council sends us a big paycheck every month and pays the rent on our apartment. Keeps you in blood and me in twinkies. Besides,
in exchange, we get to save the world and have an adventure. I don't know about you Spike, but I have no intention of fucking up this good thing."
"Well well, Pet. Seems you're not as stupid as you look."
Xander beamed with pride. "Thanks Spike, you're not so bad yourself. Let's go pack some equipment for the job."
Before Spike could complain, Xander was gone.
Packing was one of the few things Xander was actually good at. You start with the must haves such as lube -at least 2 flavors- tooth brush and mouthwash - he never wanted a repeat of the look on Willow's face when he kissed her cheek after - and a small cooler for blood and snacks.
All this went into a back pack along with rope, cuffs, and anything else they might need for the job at hand.
The amount of toys taken depended on the length of time they would be gone and whether the trip was business or pleasure. If it was a Council trip they left the whips and cuffs at home, packing only an assortment of small butt plugs. A major sacrifice, but hey, Xander Harris could be very professional when he needed to be.
Standing in the doorway, Spike watched as the love of his unlife riffled through an impressive number of plugs that were spread out on the bed.
Spike smiled and sipped from his cup as Xander selected and rejected certain sizes and colors. The boy was a true romantic.
This being a one day job, really didn't require sex apparatus, but Giles orders had only specified no sex till after the job was done.
"So how we doing this? Cause I gotta tell you Xan I am NOT going through another one of those fuckin' vortex thingys."
Spike drained his cup and set it on the dresser as he approached the bed.
Pressing himself to Xander's back, he circled his arms around the human's waist and pulled him back roughly against a very hard insistent vampire chubby.
Moaning, Xander leaned back resting his head on Spike's shoulder. "Oh, God. We promised, Spike. We can't have sex till the job is done." Despite his protests Xander was grinding his ass against the hard on behind him.
"You promised, Xan, I didn't. And anyway, I can't possibly save the world with this monumental woodie. You know vampires and wood are a lethal combination. Save me, Xan. Show me what a white knight you are."
Knowing Xander had already switched to his hero mentality, Spike's words hit just the right cord. Spinning in Spike's arms, Xander dropped to his knees and looked up at Spike with his most noble expression. "I'll save you, Spike. I'll save you."
With nimble fingers and the speed of a superman, Xander unzipped Spike's pants and extracted his cock. Holding the cock firmly in his fist, Xander looked it in the single weeping eye and promised. "I'm here for you." and he swallowed it whole.
Spike went weak in the knees as Xander did his damnedest to rescue his partner from the heavy, hooded, swollen cock monster. He tugged and rolled the evil ball sac that was assisting the dick demon.
He assaulted the slit with his hot persistent tongue, and he strangled the monsters head with his experienced throat muscles.
Glancing down Spike could see that in sympathy of his plight, Xander was roughly stroking his own sneaky snake. He was a good man, his Xander.
Finally the combination of licking the bundle of nerves under the head and the deep hard sucking were too much for Spike.
Always the unselfish vampire that he was, Spike wanted Xander to come with him.
"Come on, Pet. Come for me."
Unable to wait, he doubled over and shot down Xander's throat, Spike screaming out one more time "COME"
He had knocked three times already. Mr. Giles promised they would be home and ready to go. Pulling out his cell phone, the driver was just about to call in and ask for further instructions when he heard the voice from inside the apartment call out "COME"
"Well it's about fuckin' time." The driver mumbled before opening the door and following the sounds to the bedroom.
"SHIT! Oh my God, I' sorry. I thought...."
With his hands wrapped around Spike's knees, Xander peered between his legs, and saw the man standing in the bedroom doorway. "Oh, look Spike. Giles sent a driver. Hey do you think we could stop for some food? I'm starved"
Part Four
"Well clearly you two are Mr. Harris and Mr.Asole. I must say the description given me by Mr. Giles was spot on."
Unconcerned, Xander got to his feet and straightened his clothes.
"How about a little privacy, mate?" Spike had wanted a few more minutes alone with his partner before they left for the mission. Unmoved, the driver stood his ground.
"Mr. Giles said I was to drive you to the edge of Times Square. Due to the crowds you will have to walk from there. I am supposed to make sure you arrive on time. Mr. Giles specifically said to make sure you kept your dicks in your pants."
Most men would have been outraged, embarrassed or at least miffed by such an invasion of their privacy. Xander was unfazed. He had been with Spike long enough that very little affected him. Spike had given Xander a confidence and inhibition that to be honest, most of the other Scoobies envied.
Scooping up the tools of his trade and tossing them into the backpack, Xander flipped the pack over his shoulder and smiled, "Lead the way McDuff."
The driver led them to a long black Lincoln Town car parked at the curb. Opening the door for them, Spike slid in easily. Following closely behind, Xander froze half way in. Clutching his stomach, he doubled over.
"Xan?" Concerned, Spike rushed to his side.
"I'm o.k. I just think maybe that mexican food we had earlier isn't going to sit too well."
Realization dawned on Spike's face. "Hell No! You are not getting in this car like that!" Spike tried frantically to push Xander back out of the car as the driver, not sure what the problem was, attempted to push him in.
Slapping them both off him, Xander put a stop to the tug of war. "Knock it off!' Pointing at the driver, he faced off with Giles flunky "You! Keep your dick beaters to yourself!"
Shoving Spike over, he dropped into the seat. "And you, you don't need to breath any way, so just can it."
Conceding the point, Spike slid as far over in the seat as he could and they were off.
Huffing, Xander folded his arms and scowled. "You hurt my feelings, Spike."
Xander hid his glee. Truth was he knew Spike would never hurt his feelings.
Instantly by his side, Spike was apologetic. "God, Love I am so sorry."
Spike knew damn well Xander was not upset, but it was all right, because he was not sorry.
Grudgingly, Xander accepted Spike's insulting comment as a slip of the tongue with his own slippery tongue. Glancing in the rear mirror, the driver realized he had lost control of the situation as the two men in the back seat rolled groped and tonsil hooked each other.
Whipping over to the curb, he turned and reached over the seat in a fumbling attempt to separate them. "Stop it! Stop it right now! Mr. Giles said...." Sniff. Sniff "JESUS CHRIST!! What the fuck did you eat?"
Xander and Spike each snickered.
"He's right, Pet. You really are rank."
Xander shrugged "Not really that bad. Remember the time with the cabbage rolls?"
Spike chuckled "Or what about the three bean casserole?"
Xander roared "No, no, wait. How about the time I lost the bet and ate a...."
"OUT! Get the fuck out of my car! We are only two blocks away. You two ignorant fuckers can just walk!" The driver had rushed around and opened the door, holding a hand over his face.
"He's right Spike. Time is getting close and we still have to work out way through that crowd ahead. Looking up, Spike was taken aback by the number of people packed shoulder to shoulder on the street. It was humanity at it's worst and best.
People eagerly anticipating the new year and unaware of it's possible disaster. Mingling among them were the thieves, pick pockets and sexual deviants.
Spike wiped a tear from his eye. It was heaven. "Um, Xan," Spike tapped him on the shoulder.
"Not now Spike. Mission first. Eat a mugger later. First order of business is working our way through this mob." Giving it just a quick minutes thought, Xander reached into his back pack.
Xander had always been a tool kinda guy. He could take a stick of gum and a shoe string and put McGiver to shame. It was a talent that was often used to leave his vampire smiling and sated.
Finding his favorite vibrating butt plug, the one with the twirling head, he flipped the switch, aimed it low,and started moving forward.
"EEP"
"HEY!"
"WHOA"
"Well hello there."
Parting the throng like the red sea, it took less time than they had thought to reach their destination. Checking his watch,
Xander looked back at Spike. "Just two more minutes. We need to get up there and stop the gremlins."
Spike took the lead and Xander's hand. "Come on, Pet." Shoving people forcibly aside, they hurried inside and onto the elevator to the top floor. As soon as the doors shut and the haunting sound of Muskrat Love filled the air, Spike pounced.
Nibbling Xander's neck and groping madly at his crotch, they collapsed to the floor. Gasping, Xander tried weakly to stop what he had been way too long without. Flipping them over so he could for once be on top, the doors opened and the two of them still clutched together rolled out onto the floor.
Never missing a beat, Xander jumped to his feet and rushed forward. Kicking open the door to the inner sanctum, he rushed in to find three humans tied up and gagged. Two green tiny gremlin demons sat in front of the switch, laughing
and bouncing, and guarding it from being triggered.
"Spike, what do we do?"
Receiving no answer, Xander turned to find Spike blocked out by an invisible barrier. Searching the room frantically with his eyes, Xander found what he dreaded. In one of the corners lay two tiny sleeping bags. The gremlins were living here and Spike could not enter without their invitation. Out the window Xander could hear the roar of the crowd
"TEN, NINE, EIGHT"
"Spike! What do I do?" Xander was terrified. He had nothing in his backpack that would kill a gremlin and no vampire backup to stand by him.
"It's on you, Xan. Use what you have. You can do it" Spike stood with his hands flat on the invisible wall.
"SEVEN, SIX, FIVE"
Realization dawned. Spike saw when the light came on in Xander's eyes and he knew the world would be saved again by the underappreciated, underestimated Scoobie.
"FOUR, THREE, TWO"
With the speed of light, Xander turned his back to the gremlins, dropped his pants and let loose a cloud of gas that could strip paint. The humans muffled screams behind their gags were the only sounds they made before passing out. Xander turned back in time to see the gremlins instantly combust and burn to ash.
Rushing forward and holding his breath, Xander threw the switch just as the crowd boomed below
"ONE!
HAPPY NEW YEAR"
Horns honked and confetti flew. The ball dropped and the New Year started.
At the instant the gremlins turned to toast, the wall fell and Spike tumbled forward. Gathering Xander up in his arms, Spike kissed him passionately. "You did it, Love. All by yourself. Do you know how much that turns me on?"
"Oh, hell, yes, Spike. Let's go back to the hotel."
Arm in arm they headed out into the night. Full of love and hope for the future. "Hey, Spike, do you think we could stop off somewhere on the way back? I'm hungry as fuck."
The End
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